Man Does Not Live by Bread Alone

In the weeks before Ash Wednesday, there were many moments when I got drawn into some kind of indulgence (food, internet, music, &c), and had the burning thought, "I need Lent!" It surprised me how much my soul longed for fasting.

There's a yearning again A thirst for discipline A hunger for things that are deeper (Cry in My Heart - Starfield)

When I depend too much on material things, my orientation turns back into myself, my image, my desires. The selfish soul is a miserable soul. Fasting is so powerful because it purges out the selfishness and turns the soul's orientation outside of itself--up toward God, and around toward men. I love that fasting is such a physical discipline. As corporeal humans, we need that. We can't forget that Christ is human as well, and He has physically sacrificed Himself for us in every way. Can't we be a little hungry for Him? Can't we endure a little silence for Him? A passage from St. Augustine's Confessions helped me think of it this way: if we can't have the physical discipline to get out of our comfortable beds in the morning, how can we have the spiritual discipline to get out of our comfortable sins? Getting up early is a denial of self-pleasure, but once you do it you really begin to live. Getting out of our sins is a denial of our flesh, but we can't truly begin to live until we wake up. Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God. The discipline of Lent helps us to lose our dependence on material things and become more dependent on the Word of God. This scripture has always meant a lot to me, but as a Catholic it totally blows me away, and here's why: Christ is the Word spoken by the Father, and He is the Bread that gives us eternal life. He is our literal nourishment. During Lent, my goal is to lose some of my attachments to worldly comforts and start really living on Christ.

Significant Books, Part VI

[Again, this series of Significant Books isn't necessarily my favorite books, but rather, books that have influenced me in my life or shaped my philosophy in some significant way.]

Nearly 6 years ago, I was sitting in my Baptist Sunday School class as the teacher was handing out blank cards to everyone. "We want to make this class interesting and relevant to you," he said, "so write down anything you might want to learn more about, and we'll try to answer your questions in the coming classes." I wrote down the weightiest question on mind--"What is the difference between Catholics & Protestants, and why are Protestants right?"

At that point, Catholicism was a large question mark in my mind--grown larger from my parents obvious interest in it. I knew it was controversial, but I had never heard a clear explanation as to what it was or why it was supposedly teaching a "different gospel."

I was probably more attentive during our next Sunday School class than I had ever been before. Afterward, I was unconvinced. I knew the arguments didn't hold water, and I was dying to know how to answer them. Catholicism and Fundamentalism by Karl Keating was the first book Dad gave me to help answer my many questions. I ate this thing like candy. It solidified all that I knew was right, but couldn't explain till that point. It pointed out the Scriptures and gave a true representation of what the Church taught. For the first year of our conversion, as I searched the Scriptures with new openness, I used this book as a tool to understand what the Church taught about it and why.

This book really didn't change a thing about what I believed. I knew that I was a Christian and I wanted to follow God. But the Church gave me a fuller and deeper understanding of Christianity and the tools to follow God in even more radical ways. It made my Christian faith more of a reality.

The first half of this book exposes the holes in prominent anti-Catholic literature. The second half answers the common accusations against the Church. As I said, it was the first book of its kind I had ever read. It opened the door to MANY other books, and "Catholic apologetics" became one of my biggest passions. Catholicism and Fundamentalism will always be significant to me because it was a gateway for such a huge change in my life.

I am still very passionate about defending and building up the Church; in fact, it is one of the main reasons why I've gotten involved in blogging. After 5 years of being Catholic, I've received so many spiritual (and intellectual) gifts of God through the Church, and few things give me more joy than sharing that with others.

But really, the biggest thing that this book spurred on was not a desire to teach or explain Catholicism to others (though that goes along with it). The most amazing thing I've learned is that I can never stop learning! God is infinite, so we can go on learning about Him and growing closer to Him forever. I want to keep a hunger for the truth and an eagerness to share it.

The Baby and the Bridegroom

Advent is a very reflective time for me. It's a time for expectation and preparation. I love that it's so richly reminiscent of ancient things, and so convicting and hopeful for the things yet to come. It shows the full and colorful canvas of Christianity.

It seems like so few people see that picture, though. I just wish they would remember how Christmas is Christ's Mass--the fulfillment of all God's promises and the ultimate feast.

The story of the "Christ Mass" began in Eden, when the need for a savior was created. God established his chosen people and sent a baby who would rescue them from slavery in Egypt. God revealed His truth to these people, and from them came prophecies--such beautiful, hopeful, longing prophecies! The people hoped and prayed for centuries; they sang psalms and they celebrated feasts that reminded them of God's salvation from slavery. They were unfaithful, yes, but they still had God's truth and they still had His promise.

Then God chose a woman, and unlike Eve, this woman obeyed Him. Out of her obedience came, not death, but LIFE for all mankind.

But you, Bethlehem-Ephrathah too small to be among the clans of Judah, From you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler in Israel; Whose origin is from of old, from ancient times. (Therefore the Lord will give them up, until the time when she who is to give birth has borne, And the rest of his brethren shall return to the children of Israel.) He shall stand firm and shepherd his flock by the strength of the LORD... Micah 5:1-3

He came and fulfilled all those strange and beautiful prophecies. He was born to a small woman in a small cave in a small town called "House of Bread," visited by small shepherds to become a shepherd himself--a humble King. It's the wildest, most creative story I've ever read!

I'm bursting with anticipation for the Christ Mass! At midnight on December 25, I'll hear the ancient prophecies, sing the ancient psalms, and say the very words uttered by the ancient people of God. Then I'll partake in the feast of our salvation from slavery; I'll eat the bread that was placed in the food trough two thousand years ago--the redeeming flesh that was sacrificed on the tree.

We remember the advent of the child, and we prepare and purify our hearts for the advent of the bridegroom, when we'll celebrate the Mass of Christ--the great wedding feast--into eternity.

The Spirit of the Liturgy (Significant Books, Part V)

It being the first Sunday of Advent and the beginning of the new liturgical year, I thought it'd be fitting to write about The Spirit of the Liturgy by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (now Pope Benedict XVI). I read this exactly 2 years ago, so a lot of the details have left me. I hope I'll re-read it at some point, but the important thing is that the big picture has always stayed with me and inspired my thoughts at every Mass and every late stargazing night.

Liturgy, in practical terms, comes from the Greek leitourgia meaning "to perform public duty." Basically, it's the outward manifestation of faith. It's expressed by the Church most radically through the Mass, the celebration focused entirely on Christ's Eucharistic sacrifice. All liturgy points to Christ:

"...Christian worship is the practical application and fulfillment of the words that Jesus proclaimed on the first day of Holy Week, Palm Sunday, in the Temple in Jerusalem: 'I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself' (Jn 12:32)." - Chapter II

The liturgy is the celebration of Christ's sacrifice and our salvation - the cross and resurrection makes our communion with God possible. The liturgy is about God and man touching each other. It's our taste of heaven (literally). It's a mystery and it's a romance.

"The Christian theology of worship--beginning with St. John the Baptist--sees in Christ the Lamb given by God. The Apocalypse presents this sacrificed Lamb, who lives as sacrificed, as the center of the heavenly liturgy, a liturgy that, through Christ's Sacrifice, is now present in the midst of the world and makes replacement liturgies superfluous (see Rev 5)."

Our life on earth is just a preliminary to eternity. Our true home is in heaven. I love this word picture at the beginning of the book:

"Children's play seems in many ways a kind of anticipation of life, a rehearsal for later life, without its burdens and gravity. On this analogy, the liturgy would be a reminder that we are all children, or should be children, in relation to that true life toward which we yearn to go. Liturgy would be a kind of anticipation, a rehearsal, a prelude for the life to come, for eternal life...Seen thus, liturgy would be the rediscovery within us of true childhood, of openness to a greatness still to come, which is still unfulfilled in adult life."

This book was so profound for me because it showed how God uses the physical world to communicate with us. In bowing, kneeling, extending our hands in prayer...we are literally revering God with our bodies. We are tangible people, so God communicates with us in tangible ways, through art and music, through spoken and written words, through time changes & seasons, through nature, through bread. He wants to unite Himself with us, and every part of the liturgy is an expression of that. It's LITERAL - it's so very, very real. But the best part about it is that heaven will be even more real, and its beauty will never be exhausted.

Say Your Prayers

Here's a song that's been on my mind lately. I bought it on iTunes a while ago because I liked the band & the song sounded catchy, but recently I started listening to the lyrics and they have a challenging message.

Look at you now, just standing there like you think you’re something. The lights are up and the crowd is looking your way.
Waiting for what you have to say.
Go ahead boy give them a little taste of hypocrisy, maybe a hint of blasphemy.
Whatever you’re preaching it isn’t me.

You wanna walk with me, do ya?
You wanna walk with me.
If you love me then just love me, don’t you give me pretty words.
Lay your life down at the altar.
Let me see how serious you are.

These people don’t look to me no more they’ve got their idols in various forms.
With lust in their eyes they crave for more.
Take their place with the corporate carnivores.
Oh, keep your focus for the day will come when everyone will give account for what they’ve done; make me proud.
Make me proud my son.

Look at this broken world; look at my children.
Get ready go; sing to me the right song.
Look up say your prayers on the steps of the capitol.
Look up say your prayers, on your knees.
Look up say your prayers.
Look up say your prayers.
You wanted it to be like you always thought it would but all you seem to accomplish is the
opposite.

A lot of times in my walk with God, I find myself praying in the mornings & evenings, but living for my own selfish pleasures during the rest of the day. I guess sometimes I feel like my "pretty words" will satisfy God's call for my life, but they won't.

My life is supposed to be a prayer & an offering to God. Repeating "Lord, Lord" isn't going to cut it (Matt 7:22-23). I need to lay myself down on the altar for Him, just like Christ did (Eph 5:2).

Real love isn't selfish. Real love is willing to make sacrifices. If someone is apathetic in a relationship, they hurt the other person like crazy. Well, God's a person and He loves us more than any other person we could ever know. There's no way to imagine how much we hurt Him when we're lukewarm.

Say your prayers. Pray for all your fellow Christians who've fallen into tepidity and those who still haven't found Christ. But don't just pray with words, pray with everything you do.

Significant Books, Part II

After the Scriptures, the book that's had the most influence on my spiritual life has been Divine Mercy in My Soul: The Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska. It was one of those long-term readers that took me half a year to get through, but it was almost a daily devotional companion last year.

The writings of the saints & mystics really are phenomenal. Until I started dipping my toes into them a couple years go, I couldn't have imagined the intensity of a passionate relationship with God. Faustina was in a constant state of union with Christ; it seems like she was always aware of His presence, always talking with Him, thinking of Him, working for Him, loving Him. She was conscious of His holiness and so she was always contrite & willing to do anything for Him.

The prayers in this book are so simple, deep, & beautiful. I was convicted in the deepest parts of my heart because I recognized that that's where all of our souls are created to be - in humility, openness, and love toward God.

Everlasting love, pure flame, burn in my heart ceaselessly and deify my whole being, according to Your infinite pleasure by which You summoned me into existence and called me to take part in Your everlasting happiness. O merciful Lord, it is only out of mercy that You have lavished these gifts upon me. Seeing all these free gifts within me, with deep humility I worship Your incomprehensible goodness. Lord, my heart is filled with amazement that You, absolute Lord, in need of no one, would nevertheless stoop so low out of pure love for us. I can never help being amazed that the Lord would have such an intimate relationship with His creatures. That again is His unfathomable goodness. Every time I begin this meditation, I never finish it, because my spirit becomes entirely drowned in Him. What a delight it is to love with all the force of one's soul and to be loved even more in return, to feel and experience this with the full consciousness of one's being. There are no words to express this. (1523)

St. Faustina had visions of the intense sufferings of Christ because of our rebellion and especially our apathy. Not a page out of the 644 failed to move me to deeper repentance and love for God. Reading this diary, I was amazed at the infinity of spirituality. It's so deep that there's literally no bottom. This book absolutely blew me away! God has used this woman to bring thousands of souls to Him, and I only hope I can become 1/100th of the saint that she is.

Significant Books, Part I

Literature is an influential part of me. What I'd like to do is go through the list of my "significant books" and write about each. This list doesn't necessarily contain my "favorite" books. It's the books that have significantly shaped the way I think, contributed to my philosophy, or introduced important ideas to me. I thought this would be the best place for me to begin this new blog of mine.

The Holy Bible.

This is the one that I've read, listened to, studied, prayed, pondered, argued over, and loved the most. :) I grew up on it, memorized it as a child, practiced my penmanship with it, got chastised with it, and listened to hundreds of sermons on it. It would be impossible to extract it from my life and me remain the same person.

From a literary point of view, it contains all the things that I love. It's a historical masterpiece. Not only that, but it tells the story of a family. One of my favorite series as a child was something like "American Adventures" that began with two children going on the Mayflower. The next book was about their children, the next about theirs, and so on. I found it so fascinating! The Bible begins with the first man, continues with his children, and goes on to give the story of their descendants (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and the 12 tribes of Israel). It follows the line of the Hebrews till it comes to the crux - Christ, on whom the fates of all humanity depend. It's the story of the whole human family - the ultimate genealogy!

One of the biggest things that I look for in any story is an ending that comes out of the beginning. (This is the main reason why you'll see Les Miserables is on my list...more on that when I get to it). A good story is bookended, crafting a conflict and resolving it. The Scriptures have the ultimate plot conflict: human sin, and the ultimate plot resolution: Christ. The entire Old Testament is a masterful story of the Hebrews and their struggles. The New Testament answers the Old, reconciling men to God, and ends with a ravishing prophecy of that eternal reconciliation.

A good book will also cause the reader to reflect on themselves and on the world, and will challenge the person to change them in some way. What could be more radical than the challenge to become like the crucified Christ?

The symbolism is deep and the foreshadowing ingenious. Any lover of literature must be in awe of the creative mystery conceived by the Scriptures.

I want to end with this profound quote from C.S. Lewis (a man whose books have influenced my philosophy tremendously). He wrote it in a letter to his friend Arthur Greeves in fall of 1931, talking about the Gospel as it stands in relation to other human stories (or rather, mythologies):

"Now the story of Christ is simply a true myth: a myth working on us in the same
way as the others, but with this tremendous difference that it really happened:
and one must be content to accept it in the same way, remembering that it is
God’s myth where the others are men’s myths: i.e. the Pagan stories are God
expressing Himself through the minds of poets, using such images as He found
there, while Christianity is God expressing Himself through what we call “real
things”. Therefore it is true, not in the sense of being a “description” of God
(that no finite mind could take in) but in the sense of being the way in which
God chooses to (or can) appear to our faculties."

I suppose this is why humanity is so attracted to stories, because they mirror this beautiful "true myth" that God wrote. I only wish that more people could appreciate and love it as much as I've learned to love it.