Songs from 2018, Part 3: Movement

          We're ready to go,
          say goodbye to our homes,
          and now our bed is where we make it
          out on the road.
          "Go" by Vocal Few

This year I actually became more "settled," beginning year 2 of living in the same house and working at the same job. Maybe this is part of why the idea of movement struck me so strongly in these songs. Not because I was feeling restless to travel, but because I became more aware of the dangers of passivity. Floating along a "status quo river" has few rewards.

          And the path we take is older still
          All our ancestors traversed it,
          trading comfort for wilderness.

Exploration and risk are elements that should be part of every life, even settled ones. There are always ways to stretch, initiate, raise your aims.

"1000 Feet" by Scott Mulvahill (and Move and Shake) also really speak to me about intentional change. Probably my favorite lyric of the year comes from this song:

          There's a mountain in my way. 
          Oh, there's a mountain in my way.
          Who's gonna be the one to move?

Listening to that line for the first time, I felt like I'd been caught. There are plenty of obstacles in my life that are easy to complain about or even ignore, hoping they'll just go away on their own. This song points out how ridiculous it is to live like that, and shows that movement doesn't have to happen all at once, but one foot at a time.

I see two different types of movement in Madison Cunningham's "To Another Land." One is negative:

          Oh, I wish that I could escape myself,
          but they say trains don't go out that far.

Exploration and newness are wonderful - for the right reasons. This is why movement has to come after surety. There needs to be a foundation from which to go. Madison shows how movement for the sake of disconnection can't bring satisfaction. (Interestingly, she also sings about the wrong and right way to stay in Window). Going outside of yourself to genuinely connect with others is the risk - and reward - in movement correctly oriented.

          Pick up that left hand groove man,
          beat on the side of your money can,
          play your song to another land,
          take me with you as far as you can.

In 2019, my biggest goal is to go outside myself. I want to encounter God in epiphany, know him in surety and meet others in movement. And after reflecting more deeply on each of these favorite songs from 2018, I hope as I keep them in my musical rotation, they can keep inspiring me to do it!

Songs from 2018, Part 2: Surety

Part 1.

Epiphany is the sudden realization of truth, but surety is a full trust in truth's unmoving security. However, I've learned that trust isn't always a feeling. Sometimes trust is nose-to-the-grindstone work. It takes effort to return again and again to the rock after being blown by winds of difficulty, even if you always know the rock will be there. There's an element of clinging to surety. The truth doesn't move, but you do - falling from weakness over and over again. I recognize this in the lyrics of "A Better Word" by Bethany Barnard.

          I hear the blood of Abel speak
          in accusation over me.
          I'm guilty and I am in need
          of mercy. 

But every time this happens, no matter how many times it happens, we can to return to the prayer-refrain:

          You have broken 
          the power of my sin.
          The curse I lived in
          has been reversed.

          The blood of Jesus
          is my provision.
          You have spoken
          a better Word.

As Hebrews says, "we have confidence to enter the sanctuary by the blood of Jesus." This is eternal, never-changing, constant and sure!

"Gallows" by Jess Ray on Spotify

This song is a reminder that no matter how much it seems like the devil has the upper hand, as Christians we already know the ending, and we're on the winning side. 

          the harder the wind will blow,

          the deeper our roots will go

Darkness might feel powerfully suffocating, but light obliterates it so immediately. We simply have to open the shades.

          It will flood a blinding light
          it will chase away the night.
          Even if you shield your eyes,
          let it pour in, let it pour in! 

With "Dawn," Jake Scott is yet another artist I've followed through the lyrical changes of falling in love and getting married (including Jess and Beth). But beyond the basic storyline of building a family, I enjoy this song for the way he expresses his place in the world very simply.

          I'm in love

One might wonder how I get a theme of surety from this song when it talks about being displaced, broken and changed. But the sheer number of times he says...

          I'm in love

...shows an absolute surety about who he is and what everything means (or doesn't mean) to him. It's the home where he exists, and it reminds me that love has to be the foundation from which you reach out to the world...to be continued in Songs of 2018, Part 3: Movement. 

Songs from 2018, Part 1: Epiphany

I love songs the way I love books. Stories, themes and symbolism can all be as powerfully communicated through 3 minutes of music as they can in a full-length novel. Lyrics do the telling, which is why the words are just as important to me as the sound of a song. While re-listening to some of my favorites from this year, I tried encapsulating what each one was about in a single word, and found that 3 ideas kept appearing. The first: epiphany. 

Epiphany is a sudden widening of your world. "Ghost of a King" by The Gray Havens widens into a new world altogether. It's a meeting that whirls into a supernatural journey and ends in a healing shock of water. The man in the song knows he's broken, but learns that the broken part of him belongs to the supernatural world he never knew existed. He discovers in immediate succession the impossible hopelessness of his state...

          you are a lonely soul 
          with a heart of stone that rakes against your thirsty bones

...and the impossible hope of newness.

          Where no chariot can take you,
          where the river meets the sand,
          there is water there that can quench your thirsty bones
          and make you well.

I recognize all the moments I've felt most alive in Beta Radio's "All at Once I Saw It All." It begins with homesickness for the unknown - a grasping at infinity. You reach and reach until the moment you glance back at time-bound reality. Then in the light of forever, life strikes you in an epiphany. 

          How rare and beautiful
          that we were ever even born.

It's as if the whole of life can briefly be seen "to scale," but of course that also includes a fearful awareness of its end. 

          The ghost parade a shroud,
          my body rearranged.

And you're left reaching for eternity only fiercer than before. 

I think Taylor Leonhardt expresses the bewilderment and joy of epiphany in her song "Everything" (and "Surprising Me" from the same album). I love the discovery of something so significant that it touches every part of living. You get to run from one thing to the next, watching it change in front of you, soaking in the novelty of re-orientation. 

          You flipped the whole thing around

          dropped the sky to the ground

          you are here with us now.

The end of this song brings me to the second overarching idea in my favorite songs this year: surety. To be continued in Part 2...

Gifts of 2010

A year ago, spending the first few moments of January 1, 2010 in the candle-lit chapel, praying and singing with my sister and our friends, asking God to sustain us in the new year.

Many days (and nights) of ice-skating on the pond with my family - racing, jumping, misusing hockey sticks, spinning, falling, and laughing.

Passing by the Church every day after class, often stopping and encountering the supernatural graces of adoration.

Enjoying chapters of Moby Dick every night (for a goodly time), being awed, amused, and better educated on whaling ships. Enjoying Martin Chuzzlewit after that and getting my much-loved annual dose of Dickens.

A Lent without music. A Holy Thursday Mass and constant adoration with my father and sister until midnight. A fervent and glorious Easter Vigil.

High school graduation, 18th birthday, first job. The opportunity to increase my solidarity with humanity by working a cash register and a drive-thru. Praising God that I could find a job in the employment wasteland of my hometown.

Sitting in the heat and light of the sun on the community college lawn, closing my eyes to the music and choosing Deas Vail every single time.

Meeting a Dominican sister in the Dairy Queen. A few months later, getting a letter from halfway across the country, explaining that she had met a friend of mine who gave her my address. Beginning a treasured correspondence.

Taking a roadtrip with my sister, listening to (m)orning by Mae as we drove into a sunrising sky. Meeting our family at the campgrounds, getting caught hiking in the rain to find shelter in a cleft and pray a rosary.

Stargazing late into the night with Future of Forestry's Traveler's Song repeating on my iPod.

Picnicking for my sister's birthday. Picknicking with my cousins. Picknicking often on the college campus with newly made friends.

Making use of the school's tucked away meditation room and rediscovering the mysteries of the Gospel with what became a daily rosary.

Eating Swiss cheese, talking to fish, watching childrens' movies, burning popcorn, playing outdated board games, re-enacting ET, and swaying in unison with my first roommate in the freshman dorm.

A global issues class that blew my mind twice a week.

A Psalter's concert that brought Psalms to my lips for weeks afterward.

Moongazing with a stranger on the campus lawn and talking theology for hours into the night, losing favor with campus security. Having the widest range of philosophical discussions I've ever had in any one semester of school.

Watching my little siblings get older. Conversing with the 2-year-old whose default answer to any question was "applesauce." Playing and laughing with them.

Celebrating the 50th anniversary of both sets of grandparents! Savoring reunions and reminiscences and thanking God for my rare family heritage!

And the biggest gift of all: meeting my sister Maria on Christmas Day.

Holy Music

The beautiful, ancient, & reverent things that I loved about The Silmarillion, I also love about Advent & Christmas music. The songs played on the radio...well...they have their place, but they don't come near to moving me as these do. These are songs that, like the cold night air wakes my body, wake my soul to the things of God.

I wish I could type all the verses to all of them, but these will give a taste. [I've put links to some favorite arrangements, although it'd probably be safe to say that my favorite arrangement of every one would be: boys choir. Some of the videos are tacky, but it's the music that counts.]

Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence

Let all mortal flesh keep silence,
and with fear and trembling stand.
Ponder nothing earthly minded,
for with blessing in his hand,
Christ, our God, to earth descendeth,
our full homage to demand.

[Fernando Ortega]

The Breton Carol

A wonder sight to see,
Noël, Noël, Noël,
God's son for us is born and in a manger laid
by Mary, mother and maid,
Noël, Noël, Noël

[The Chieftans (in Gaelic)]

Gaudete

Gaudete, gaudete, Christus est natus
ex Maria virgine, gaudete!
Tempus adest gratiae / hoc quod optabamus
carmina laetitiae / devote reddamus.

(Rejoice, rejoice, Christ is born
of the Virgin Mary, rejoice!
The time of grace has come / this that we have desired
verses of joy / let us devoutly return.

[Anuna]

Of the Father's Love Begotten

Of the Father's love begotten
ere the world began to be
He is Alpha and Omega
He the source and ending, He
of the things that are, that have been
and that future years shall see
evermore and evermore.

[John Michael Talbot]

Coventry Carol (Lully, Lullay)

O sisters, too, how may we do
for to preserve this day
this poor youngling for whom we sing
By by lully lullay (verse 1)

Herod the king, in his raging
charged he hath this day
his men of might in his own sight
all young children to slay (verse 2)

[Hayley Westenra]

(I like to sing this especially on Dec. 28 - Feast of the Holy Innocents)

Riu Riu Chiu (Nightingale sounds)

Este qu'es nascido es el gran monarca
Cristo patriarca de carne vestido
hanos redimido con se hazer chiquito
aunqu'era infinito, finito se hizera. (Verse 2)

(The newborn child is the mightiest monarch
Christ patriarchal invested with flesh
he made himself small and so redeemed us
he who was infinite became finite.)

[Sixpence!]

Lo, How a Rose Ere Blooming

Lo, how a rose ere blooming
from tender branch hath sprung
of Jesse's lineage coming,
as men of hold have sung.
It came a floweret bright,
amid the cold of winter
when half spent was the night.

[John Michael Talbot]

(I love to sing this on Dec. 19 when we pray the O Radix Iesse Antiphon)

In the Bleak Midwinter

In the bleak midwinter / frosty winds made moan
earth stood hard as iron / water like a stone.
Snow had fallen, snow on snow / snow on snow
in the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Angels and archangels / may have gathered there
Cherubim and seraphim / thronged in the air
But his mother only / in her maiden bliss
worshiped the Beloved with a kiss. (verse 3)

[Chanticleer]

Noël Nouvelet (or "Sing We Now of Christmas")

Noël nouvelet, Noël chantons ici
dévotes gens, crions à Dieu merci.
Chantons Noël pour le roi nouvelet
Noël nouvelet, Noël chantons ici

(New Christmas, Christmas we sing here
devout peoples, let us shout our thanks to God
Let us sing Christmas for the newborn king
New Christmas, Christmas we sing here.)

[Loreena McKennitt]

Sussex Carol

On Christmas night all Christians sing
to hear the news the angels bring. x2
News of great joy, news of great mirth
news of our merciful king's birth! (verse 1)

All out of darkness we have light
Which made the angels sing this night x2
Glory to God and peace to men
Now and forevermore, amen! (verse 4)

[Choir of King's College]

The Wexford Carol

Good people all, this Christmas time,
consider well and bear in mind
what our good God for us has done
in sending his beloved Son.

With Mary holy we should pray
to God with love this Christmas day.
In Bethlehem, upon that morn,
there was a blessed Messiah born.

[Meav Ni Mhaolchatha]

Above all is Handel's Messiah. Not only is it beautiful, the words are unmatched because they're from the mouth of prophets thousands of years ago. "Comfort ye my people..." "yet once a little while and I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land..." "but who may abide the day of his coming? and who shall stand when he appears? For He is like a refiner's fire." "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together, for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it..." "every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill made low..." "and he shall purify the sons of Levi..."

Say Your Prayers

Here's a song that's been on my mind lately. I bought it on iTunes a while ago because I liked the band & the song sounded catchy, but recently I started listening to the lyrics and they have a challenging message.

Look at you now, just standing there like you think you’re something. The lights are up and the crowd is looking your way.
Waiting for what you have to say.
Go ahead boy give them a little taste of hypocrisy, maybe a hint of blasphemy.
Whatever you’re preaching it isn’t me.

You wanna walk with me, do ya?
You wanna walk with me.
If you love me then just love me, don’t you give me pretty words.
Lay your life down at the altar.
Let me see how serious you are.

These people don’t look to me no more they’ve got their idols in various forms.
With lust in their eyes they crave for more.
Take their place with the corporate carnivores.
Oh, keep your focus for the day will come when everyone will give account for what they’ve done; make me proud.
Make me proud my son.

Look at this broken world; look at my children.
Get ready go; sing to me the right song.
Look up say your prayers on the steps of the capitol.
Look up say your prayers, on your knees.
Look up say your prayers.
Look up say your prayers.
You wanted it to be like you always thought it would but all you seem to accomplish is the
opposite.

A lot of times in my walk with God, I find myself praying in the mornings & evenings, but living for my own selfish pleasures during the rest of the day. I guess sometimes I feel like my "pretty words" will satisfy God's call for my life, but they won't.

My life is supposed to be a prayer & an offering to God. Repeating "Lord, Lord" isn't going to cut it (Matt 7:22-23). I need to lay myself down on the altar for Him, just like Christ did (Eph 5:2).

Real love isn't selfish. Real love is willing to make sacrifices. If someone is apathetic in a relationship, they hurt the other person like crazy. Well, God's a person and He loves us more than any other person we could ever know. There's no way to imagine how much we hurt Him when we're lukewarm.

Say your prayers. Pray for all your fellow Christians who've fallen into tepidity and those who still haven't found Christ. But don't just pray with words, pray with everything you do.