Praying the Creed

To someone who was raised Evangelical, "praying" something like the Apostle's Creed is a little odd. It doesn't sound like a prayer; it doesn't address God (or anyone really). It's a statement of things we believe.

Well, our lives should be a statement of things we believe, and our lives should also be a prayer - daily presenting our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God (Rom 12:1).

Then how are we living the Creed? Reciting it is only the verbal affirmation, but are we affirming it with our actions?

I believe in God.

...the Father. Really? Do I acknowledge my Father? Do I act as His child? Do I try to become worthy of His inheritance?

...the Almighty. Do I have proper awe and fear toward the One with all might? Do I trust in his power when I don't know how things will turn out, or do I try to be "almighty" over my own life?

...Creator of heaven and earth. When I walk outside, do I rejoice in the beauty of the created world? Do I rejoice in the beauty of people created in God's image?

I believe in Jesus Christ.

...His only Son, our LORD. Who has lordship over my daily thoughts and actions?

...who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary. Do I really believe in a man who was conceived in the womb of a virgin? If true, it was the most marvelous birth in history. Do I act like it was? Do I tell others about it?

...suffered under Pontius Pilate, was cruficied, died, and was buried. Do I daily remember the sacrifice that our Lord offered for us? The fact that God Himself would suffer in a human body and die should never cease to put us in awe or inspire us toward love.

...He descended into Hell. He'll do anything for us! He went to Hell and back to win our souls! What am I doing for Him?

...He ascended into Heaven. Do I acknowledge the power of the Man who confronted death, defeated it entirely, and then ascended to eternal life?

...He is seated at the right hand of the Father. If the Lord of my life is in the most powerful position of Heaven, why should I ever worry?

...from whence He shall come to judge the living & the dead. Am I preparing myself (and others) for a judgement day?

I believe in the Holy Spirit.



...the Holy Catholic Church. If I believe the Holy Spirit preserves this Church, shouldn't I follow and defend her?

...the communion of saints. Am I aware of the "cloud of witnesses" around me? Do I make an effort to learn from the wisdom of the saints? Do I ask for their prayers?

...the forgiveness of sins. Do I return continuously to God because I know He will forgive me, or do I stubbornly hold off on repentance?

...the resurrection of the body and life everlasting. What is the goal of my life, my first desire, my true home?

Amen. I want to be saying "Amen" with my life.

Significant Books, Part IX

This book has helped me understand freedom and love, desire and fulfillment, femininity and masculinity. I never realized how much I needed Mary till I read it. My Protestant heritage did not set up Mary to play a role in my spiritual life. As a new Catholic, I accepted Marian dogmas and devotion; I even defended them, but I didn't really love them till I read The World's First Love by Fulton Sheen.

In Mary I find my vocation as a person. God could work His will through her because she had humility.

My soul doth magnify the Lord / and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Savior / because he hath regarded the humility of his handmaid.

And she could be perfectly glorified in her Assumption and Coronation because she had no self-glory. She gave everything she was to God, fulfilling her human purpose. This morning, I woke up with hope, because even though it may seem impossible for God to work His perfect will through me, I know He can because He's done it before -- with Mary.

My vocation as a person is to give glory to God, and none to myself. Then my spirit can truly rejoice like Mary in her Magnificat.

In her I find my vocation as a woman.

"She has the vocation of generating life, either in the flesh or in the spirit..." - Chapter 6 - The Virgin Mother

She gave physical life to Our Lord, and she gives spiritual life to the Church as its mother. We are "her offspring, those who keep God's commandments and bear witness to Jesus." (Revelation 12:17)

My vocation as a woman is to give life, which is to give Christ. Mary gave Christ as no other could have possibly done!

"The key to understanding Mary is this: We do not start with Mary. We start with Christ, the Son of the Living God! The less we think of Him, the less we think of her; the more we think of Him, the more we think of her; the more we adore His Divinity, the more we venerate her Motherhood; the less we adore His Divinity, the less reason we have for respecting her." - (Ch. 5)

Gifts of 2010

A year ago, spending the first few moments of January 1, 2010 in the candle-lit chapel, praying and singing with my sister and our friends, asking God to sustain us in the new year.

Many days (and nights) of ice-skating on the pond with my family - racing, jumping, misusing hockey sticks, spinning, falling, and laughing.

Passing by the Church every day after class, often stopping and encountering the supernatural graces of adoration.

Enjoying chapters of Moby Dick every night (for a goodly time), being awed, amused, and better educated on whaling ships. Enjoying Martin Chuzzlewit after that and getting my much-loved annual dose of Dickens.

A Lent without music. A Holy Thursday Mass and constant adoration with my father and sister until midnight. A fervent and glorious Easter Vigil.

High school graduation, 18th birthday, first job. The opportunity to increase my solidarity with humanity by working a cash register and a drive-thru. Praising God that I could find a job in the employment wasteland of my hometown.

Sitting in the heat and light of the sun on the community college lawn, closing my eyes to the music and choosing Deas Vail every single time.

Meeting a Dominican sister in the Dairy Queen. A few months later, getting a letter from halfway across the country, explaining that she had met a friend of mine who gave her my address. Beginning a treasured correspondence.

Taking a roadtrip with my sister, listening to (m)orning by Mae as we drove into a sunrising sky. Meeting our family at the campgrounds, getting caught hiking in the rain to find shelter in a cleft and pray a rosary.

Stargazing late into the night with Future of Forestry's Traveler's Song repeating on my iPod.

Picnicking for my sister's birthday. Picknicking with my cousins. Picknicking often on the college campus with newly made friends.

Making use of the school's tucked away meditation room and rediscovering the mysteries of the Gospel with what became a daily rosary.

Eating Swiss cheese, talking to fish, watching childrens' movies, burning popcorn, playing outdated board games, re-enacting ET, and swaying in unison with my first roommate in the freshman dorm.

A global issues class that blew my mind twice a week.

A Psalter's concert that brought Psalms to my lips for weeks afterward.

Moongazing with a stranger on the campus lawn and talking theology for hours into the night, losing favor with campus security. Having the widest range of philosophical discussions I've ever had in any one semester of school.

Watching my little siblings get older. Conversing with the 2-year-old whose default answer to any question was "applesauce." Playing and laughing with them.

Celebrating the 50th anniversary of both sets of grandparents! Savoring reunions and reminiscences and thanking God for my rare family heritage!

And the biggest gift of all: meeting my sister Maria on Christmas Day.

Holy Music

The beautiful, ancient, & reverent things that I loved about The Silmarillion, I also love about Advent & Christmas music. The songs played on the radio...well...they have their place, but they don't come near to moving me as these do. These are songs that, like the cold night air wakes my body, wake my soul to the things of God.

I wish I could type all the verses to all of them, but these will give a taste. [I've put links to some favorite arrangements, although it'd probably be safe to say that my favorite arrangement of every one would be: boys choir. Some of the videos are tacky, but it's the music that counts.]

Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence

Let all mortal flesh keep silence,
and with fear and trembling stand.
Ponder nothing earthly minded,
for with blessing in his hand,
Christ, our God, to earth descendeth,
our full homage to demand.

[Fernando Ortega]

The Breton Carol

A wonder sight to see,
Noël, Noël, Noël,
God's son for us is born and in a manger laid
by Mary, mother and maid,
Noël, Noël, Noël

[The Chieftans (in Gaelic)]

Gaudete

Gaudete, gaudete, Christus est natus
ex Maria virgine, gaudete!
Tempus adest gratiae / hoc quod optabamus
carmina laetitiae / devote reddamus.

(Rejoice, rejoice, Christ is born
of the Virgin Mary, rejoice!
The time of grace has come / this that we have desired
verses of joy / let us devoutly return.

[Anuna]

Of the Father's Love Begotten

Of the Father's love begotten
ere the world began to be
He is Alpha and Omega
He the source and ending, He
of the things that are, that have been
and that future years shall see
evermore and evermore.

[John Michael Talbot]

Coventry Carol (Lully, Lullay)

O sisters, too, how may we do
for to preserve this day
this poor youngling for whom we sing
By by lully lullay (verse 1)

Herod the king, in his raging
charged he hath this day
his men of might in his own sight
all young children to slay (verse 2)

[Hayley Westenra]

(I like to sing this especially on Dec. 28 - Feast of the Holy Innocents)

Riu Riu Chiu (Nightingale sounds)

Este qu'es nascido es el gran monarca
Cristo patriarca de carne vestido
hanos redimido con se hazer chiquito
aunqu'era infinito, finito se hizera. (Verse 2)

(The newborn child is the mightiest monarch
Christ patriarchal invested with flesh
he made himself small and so redeemed us
he who was infinite became finite.)

[Sixpence!]

Lo, How a Rose Ere Blooming

Lo, how a rose ere blooming
from tender branch hath sprung
of Jesse's lineage coming,
as men of hold have sung.
It came a floweret bright,
amid the cold of winter
when half spent was the night.

[John Michael Talbot]

(I love to sing this on Dec. 19 when we pray the O Radix Iesse Antiphon)

In the Bleak Midwinter

In the bleak midwinter / frosty winds made moan
earth stood hard as iron / water like a stone.
Snow had fallen, snow on snow / snow on snow
in the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Angels and archangels / may have gathered there
Cherubim and seraphim / thronged in the air
But his mother only / in her maiden bliss
worshiped the Beloved with a kiss. (verse 3)

[Chanticleer]

Noël Nouvelet (or "Sing We Now of Christmas")

Noël nouvelet, Noël chantons ici
dévotes gens, crions à Dieu merci.
Chantons Noël pour le roi nouvelet
Noël nouvelet, Noël chantons ici

(New Christmas, Christmas we sing here
devout peoples, let us shout our thanks to God
Let us sing Christmas for the newborn king
New Christmas, Christmas we sing here.)

[Loreena McKennitt]

Sussex Carol

On Christmas night all Christians sing
to hear the news the angels bring. x2
News of great joy, news of great mirth
news of our merciful king's birth! (verse 1)

All out of darkness we have light
Which made the angels sing this night x2
Glory to God and peace to men
Now and forevermore, amen! (verse 4)

[Choir of King's College]

The Wexford Carol

Good people all, this Christmas time,
consider well and bear in mind
what our good God for us has done
in sending his beloved Son.

With Mary holy we should pray
to God with love this Christmas day.
In Bethlehem, upon that morn,
there was a blessed Messiah born.

[Meav Ni Mhaolchatha]

Above all is Handel's Messiah. Not only is it beautiful, the words are unmatched because they're from the mouth of prophets thousands of years ago. "Comfort ye my people..." "yet once a little while and I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land..." "but who may abide the day of his coming? and who shall stand when he appears? For He is like a refiner's fire." "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together, for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it..." "every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill made low..." "and he shall purify the sons of Levi..."

Following Yonder Stars

Did you see the meteor shower tonight? It was brilliant; I didn't even try to count the number of shooting stars. It was cold, but it was worth it to pray through the joyful mysteries there under the open sky. Do you know, almost every time I've prayed a rosary this Advent, I've been convicted about how shallow our observation of this seasons is. Not just with all the consumerism, but even with our attitude toward Christ's coming. We're so comfortable with it; it gives us nice, warm feelings of joy & peace, &c. &c. But really, how could we be so comfortable with Christmas? If the same God who created those stars really sent His Divine Son to be born in a cave on a cold winter's night, that should put us in awe, confusion, distaste, or anything but comfort. Oh, I wish I could tell you in a way that you'd understand: the quaint little porcelain nativity set isn't just quaint!

Those stars up there look so small & sparkly & even "cute." But they are made up of fire and power, larger than you can imagine and farther than you could begin to think. The Nativity scene is sweet to look at, perhaps peaceful and comforting. But if you would only think of what it's made of: the burning fire of love and the power that breaks death. If we could only see its mysteries!

I don't understand how people can attend the solemn assembly of the Christ Mass with such ease. The whole Mass is a challenge: a presentation of Christ's death-to-self and a call for us to die to ourselves. They don't hear the words? They don't see the sacrifice on the altar? Why do they go except to meet a cultural norm? How can something so mindblowingly intense be reduced to a meaningless cultural motion? Christmas is infinitely more!

I want you all to see the awesome beauty and mystery of Christmas. Look up at the sky and stare at the stars that have become so commonplace to dispassionate eyes. Don't let the Nativity become commonplace in your life, because it is anything but common. God touching man is supernatural. God becoming man seems totally unnatural, but it brings nature back to order, redeems from sin and makes us right again.

Significant Books, Part VIII

The Silmarillion was a book that heightened my idea of mythology and beauty. Sadly, I've read many books just to say I've read them. What do I really expect to get out of a book if my only goal is to finish it? I may have gone into The Silmarillion with this mindset, but it was quickly forgotten. The Valaquenta (about the first 30 pages) was overwhelmingly clear and beautiful to me, so much so that I just turned back to the beginning and read it again. It was like Greek mythology, but holier. There's something so attractive about ancient stories, ones that are told with homage and a sense of reverence. I had experienced attraction to these types of things in my childhood, but this was a direct encounter, and one that changed my perspective toward things. I began to look for pure, ancient, reverent, beautiful qualities in every part of life - stories, music, nature, art, architecture...and even little things like penmanship or turns of phrase. The was something in the aura of The Silmarillion that I desired.

I loved the stories of heroism and romance, the history, the symbolism, the conflict between light and dark, the graceful language (could anyone but a linguist have written so beautifully?).

The greatest reason why I love The Silmarillion is because it helped me realize what I already had. The recent daily Mass readings have been in Revelation - a story with unmatched epic proportions. Why was I so enamored with the the song of the Ainur? Perhaps it's because I long so much for the song of the Lamb. My heart swelled at every thought of Elbereth; then it burst at the thought of my own mother, the heavenly queen with a crown of twelve stars.

What could be a greater conflict than the one between Love and sin? What greater story of heroism than the King of All sending His Only Son to redeem men? What more ravishing romance than the one between the Lamb and His Bride? What deeper history or symbolism than that found in our Scripture? The Psalms are like poems from inside me that spring out when I hear them.

I gradually found that the things drawing me to The Silmarillion were satiated in Christianity, and it was sweet to my mind. But the sweetest thought is that it's only a taster; there is an infinite amount of Truth to be devoured.

I'd rather be handless and in Heaven

What would I be willing to cut off if it would free me to grow closer to Christ? My elaborate wardrobe? My long hair?

Would I cut off my ego-feeding music or my lazy lingerings in bed? My self-absorbed facebook photos, my twitter?

Would I cut off ties from the world? from money? from my name?

I should be willing to cut off anything, because eternity is what I'm living for. These things are worthless. If you step back and look at them in the grand scheme of infinity, they really just become invisible. The only eternal things are our souls. I want to live for souls.