"You shall eat it in haste."

Today's mass reading is from Exodus 12 - the establishment of the Passover. I used to wonder at the specificity of God's instructions for the ritual. Why must the lamb be "roasted" and not boiled? Why do they have to roast the head? Why must the blood be on the doorposts and lintel?

I was in awe of the symbols of crucifixion when I read that roasting the whole lamb involved a cross-shaped spit, and when I realized what the wooden doorframes prefigured. The Passover prepared the way for Christ's Eucharistic sacrifice - the paschal mystery. Every time we go to Mass, we participate in such an ancient ritual, one in which the lives of millions have been wrapped up throughout history. An understanding of Exodus 12 certainly spurs on a deep reverence for the Mass. It can also give us greater insights into how to receive the Eucharist.

In this manner you shall eat it: your loins girded, your sandals on your feet, and your staff in your hand; and you shall eat it in haste (11).

I'm not suggesting that we wear traveling costumes every Sunday, but I do think that, as St. Peter exhorted, we should gird up the loins of our minds, setting our hopes completely on the grace to be brought to us at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Pet 1:13). The phrase "gird your loins" refers to a lifting and tucking of robes in order to have freedom of movement. To gird the loins of our minds, I think, is to prepare for a journey.

The Hebrews were setting off to the promised land, but our journey is to our home in Heaven - the complete "revelation of Jesus Christ." Each time we receive the Eucharist, we should be in mind that we are pilgrims to another land, and fed by Christ, should hasten to ever come closer to His Kingdom.

Lesson on Marriage from a Convent

My recent visit to the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia allowed for much time in prayer, contemplation, and discussion with these women who have consecrated their whole lives to God. Unexpectedly, I was given many insights to marriage even as I was in a place absent of any married people.
The world can't understand why sex is reverenced so much by the Church as to be put on such sacred ground as Holy Matrimony. All the doctrines surrounding contraception, cohabitation, homosexuality, &c. are seen by the world as obsessive. Many find the Church unreasonable for setting up around marriage such a high hedge.

But then, incomprehensibly, thousands of marriageable young Christians go off to the convent or seminary to take vows of chastity. Marriage is touted as a highly reverenced sacrament one day, and then proclaimed to be unnecessary for one's personal fulfillment the next.

Why?

The Church elevates marriage because of its source. The marital union is a very symbol of God's Trinitarian nature. And it was made clear to me in the convent that the reason the sisters don't need marriage is because they possess that source.

At the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like the angels in heaven. (Mt 22:30)

In heaven we will experience such a powerful love that it will eclipse the most intimate of human unions. This is the secret behind why the nuns revere marriage more than anyone, yet live as celibates. Because God's love is so unfathomably great, its living image in marriage is also great. But because it is unfathomably great, every living image is dwarfed in His presence.

Even while the world cuts down the hedge around marriage, devaluing and abusing it, they elevate romantic relationships as if they were life's ultimate fulfillment. The Christian respects the sanctity of marriage, knowing its source. And connected to its source, finds fulfillment whether wedded or chaste. 

Defining

March 14 was a great day to be a sixth grade math teacher! My students and I celebrated Pi Day by exploring the characteristics of circles. I began class by standing at the board with a marker in my hand, asking, "What is a circle?"

"A shape with no edges!" responded one student.

I drew a squiggly blob on the board that had fingers sticking out of it; an absurd-looking shape that had no edges, but was as far from a circle as I could make it.

"No," they protested, "it has to be round!"

I drew a rounded figure that resembled a crescent.

An outpour of demands broke out. "Make it without vertices," "It has to be 2-dimensional," "It's not concave," "You know what a circle looks like, Miss Ulmer!" 

Yet still, they could not define a circle. Finally, one student got a clue and looked it up in the back of the textbook: "The set of all points equidistant from a fixed center." Finally, I could use a compass to construct a true circle. 


In all the posts, tweets, statuses, and discussions about "gay marriage" lately, I have noticed many people continuously throw out characteristics of marriage, yet never give a definition.

"Marriage is about love!"

That's true. It's also true that a circle has no edges. But "love" does not define marriage, just like "no edges" does not define a circle. Ellipses, cylinders, and spheres also have no edges. Other kinds of relationships are also about love.

"Marriage is when two people love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives with each other!"

That's true. So is a set of twin sisters who love each other and want to always live together married? A group of close friends who run a business together?  A father and his disabled son? 

"Just last week a debate opponent defined marriage as 'a legal institution with legal rights and legal responsibilities.' Well now, we know that cannot be. After all, a police department, an incorporated business, and even Congress fit that definition. Can any of these reasonably be called 'marriage?'" - Leila Miller, Catholic Exchange

Well, I know of at least one institution that is not afraid to define marriage clearly:

"...husband and wife, through that mutual gift of themselves, which is specific and exclusive to them alone, develop that union of two persons in which they perfect one another, cooperating with God in the generation and rearing of new lives." - Pope Paul VI,  Humanae Vitae

State-recognized marriage would not exist if it weren't for the complementary nature of the union between man and woman, the procreative power that results from it, and the environment it provides for the rearing of new life. If we throw away the things that define marriage for sentiment and all-inclusiveness, we will be going down a path that is senseless. 

A circle is important enough that I won't let my sixth-graders senselessly define it. The definition of marriage holds infinitely more weight, and I won't sit quietly while it is senselessly defined. 

Symbol People

Symbols, foreshadowing, allusions, analogies - these things delight a literature person like me. But those who don't consider themselves "literature people" love these things as well. Oh, they may not enjoy the process of actually reading, of searching through pages to find significant passages, of long hours of paper-writing only to have the final product handed back with red slashes and a grade at the bottom. But every one of us loves stories. Whether we can write expository essays on them or not, we know that the best stories have these things. I think this is because we are story people. We all live in one of our own with real-life characters, plots, and conflicts.

We're also surrounded by and use symbols every day. This very blog post uses squiggly lines and shapes of the alphabet to represent my thoughts. You, the reader, are looking at the letters and comprehending the deeper meaning attached to them. This is a symbol: a material object used to represent something else (often immaterial).

Humans are material, the stuff of symbols. But what is the invisible reality that our flesh and blood represent? With the marvelously complex, ordered, and intricate design that our bodies have, it must be something very great. 

          Then God said: 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.'- Genesis 1:26

What is God "like" then? 

          God is love. - I John 4:8

We understand that love requires a giver and a receiver. Therein we discover that there is more than one person in God. Indeed, the Son is "eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, True God from True God, begotten, not made, consubstantial with the Father." And just as the Son is from the Father, woman is from the side of man.

          The man said: 'This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; This one shall
          be called 'woman,' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken.' - Genesis 2:23

And just as the Father and the Son are both "True God," so man and woman are both fully human, equal in dignity and value. 

The order of our bodies is seen perfectly in the complementary nature of masculinity and femininity. And the symbol of physical union between man and woman represents the perfect union of God. But God is not two persons only. The Trinity is composed of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The Spirit "proceeds from the Father and the Son" and "with the Father and the Son He is worshiped and glorified." This shows that the very nature of love is procreative, and it helps us understand the first blessing to Adam and Eve:

God created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them, saying: "Be fertile and multiply... - Genesis 1:27-28

God did not command this just so that He could have more subjects over which to rule. If God wanted subjects, He could have created a world of slavish creatures to worship Him. Instead, in His grace, He made us in the divine image - giving us free will so that we could make gifts of ourselves in love to each other, and so participate in procreation of new life.

Our very bodies cry out the truth of the Trinity! We are symbol people! In the institution of the family, we can find what love truly is. My heart is so heavy as I see the culture embrace a perversion of the family - contraception - which makes the total gift of self impossible and bars procreation. The contraceptive mindset has fostered infidelity and abuse, so twisting our idea of love that now the culture embraces and even champions homosexual unions. We have given in to lies about love, marring the beautiful symbols of our bodies.

One Infinite Moment

At the end of Sunday Mass this week, I was standing next to my little brother. The processional hymn began, so I opened the missal to share it with him, pointing out the verses so that he could follow along. Because I was too hoarse to sing that day, I heard better than ever Samuel's strong young voice, hitting all the right notes, but stumbling over the difficult words & syllables. (Sam reads at a high level for a 7-year-old, but even Asterix & Obelix don't have words like cher-u-bim and ser-a-phim!)

His earnest, focused face; his sweet voice; the way he kept at hymnbook even though it was difficult -- it was a beautiful little moment in which I felt very blessed.

But there was also another feeling that shot through me in those few happy seconds. There was an inner knowledge that said, "This moment is full of joy, but it's almost over. The organist will stop playing, people will go on living, Sam will grow up, and this moment will only be a vague memory." It was a feeling of pain because I knew the moment was leaving me as it was happening.

When I'm listening to a song with just a perfect chord here or a ravishing lift there, I experience the same thing. The music is so beautiful that I hurt just knowing that the song will end. I want to linger in it. I want it to last forever.

Heaven lasts forever, but I don't imagine it as an infinite set of moments that are always passing by. I think it's more like one infinite moment -- one beautiful lingering.  

2011 in Books: Non-Fiction

Planet Narnia: The Seven Heavens in the Imagination of C.S. Lewis by Michael Ward

I grew up reading The Chronicles of Narnia, and was always enthralled by the beauty and creativity of the series. With those books is the first time I remember consciously recognizing foreshadowing and symbolism on my own. As someone who is studying to teach English, it's with fondness I remember those experiences. When I saw that Ward had published a book about the seven books corresponding to the seven medieval planets, I avoided it for a while because I had some idea that it might taint those early memories of Narnia. I didn't want to see those stories broken down and analyzed to death. But let me say that Planet Narnia actually enhanced those initial memories for me. It was not a deconstruction; Ward's approach was respectful of the stories as whole. In fact, his explication tied things together in such a way that showed the stories to be more "whole" than I originally thought. For example, the first half of Prince Caspian, when the children are in the forests and the trees are awakened, always seemed a strange and inconsistent contrast to the the last half, which is all about duels and battles. An understanding of Ares as both militant and silvan deity unites the two parts of the story. I found myself totally engrossed in discovery while reading Planet Narnia, and even more impressed at the subtlety of Lewis. The exciting discoveries, the sensibility to the stories as they were meant to be read, and convincing explication has left me to view Planet Narnia as an exemplar of literary criticism.

Jesus of Nazareth, Part Two: Holy Week: From the Entrance into Jerusalem to the Resurrection by Pope Benedict XVI

My dad gave this to me as an early Easter gift so that I could read it at the seasonable time of Lent. The individuality and centrality of Jesus Christ comes out so powerfully in Benexict XVI's writings. Certainly, the book gave me a deeper knowledge of how much my life is bound up in Christ's. It consistently presents Him as the One in whose presence every other desire pales to nothingness.

"...a distinguishing feature of the disciple of Jesus is the fact that he
'lives': beyond the mere fact of existing, he has found and embraced the real life that everyone is seeking. On the basis of such texts, the
early Christians called themselves simply 'the living' (hoi zontes).
They had found what all are seeking -- life itself, full and, hence,
indestructible life."

Pope Benedict discusses how Christ created us for this eternal life, made it possible by His death and resurrection, and calls us to life in the Gospels. The pope has impressive scholarly knowledge, but just as evident is his love for Christ, and how entirely his life is bound up in the Kingdom of God.

Milestones: Memoirs 1927-1977 by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger
How interesting to read about the early family memories of Pope Benedict XVI and his close-call experiences as a youth in Nazi Germany. In one story, he and a group of his comrades were battered by an SS officer trying to make "'voluntary' recruits," but he was sent away (relieved) with "mockery and verbal abuse" because of his stated intention to become a Catholic priest! I also enjoyed seeing the passion he had for his studies in seminary, and how that carried over to his passion for teaching. He wrote with enthusiasm about a great many authors and works, and discussed some of his own first projects. These memoirs confirmed even more for me what a scholarly pope we have.

A Lucky Child: A Memoir of Surviving Auschwitz as a Young Boy by Thomas Buergenthal
This was a riveting story, and it was, of course, interesting to get inside another personal perspective of World War II and the Holocaust. I've heard the distant, unsympathetic facts of the Holocaust many times before, but a first-hand account brings the tragedy to life. In one part, he describes how his family took in two young children who had lost their parents. In the short time they were together, the children became like his siblings, but it only took a quick gesture from an SS officer and they were sent away to the gas chambers, never to be heard of again. Things like that stood out to me from the book -- the suddenness of his separation from his mother -- the way that life could be going one way and then change so dramatically in only a few moments. In the end, though, I was disappointed at Buergenthal's attribution to fate and fate only.

My Grandfather's Son: A Memoir by Clarence Thomas
I don't normally read this many memoirs, but here is another one I read over the summer. I didn't know much about Justice Thomas, but I had respect and interest for "the silent justice." His memories of the strong, consistent, disciplinary parenting of his grandparents, and especially of Catholic school and serving Mass, held my attention. I learned about the inferiority he felt, even after earning a law degree from Yale. The affirmative action dynamics at the time made him feel that his degree was worthless. He wrote that, "as a symbol of my disillusionment, I peeled a fifteen-cent price sticker off a package of cigars and stuck it on the frame of my law degree...Instead of hanging it on the wall of my Supreme Court office, I stored it in the basement of my Virginia home." His description of the "high-tech lynching" was enlightening. However, he certainly did not paint an idealized version of himself; I was surprised at the candid admittance of faults and acknowledgement of mistakes throughout the book. A disappointment I had was that he didn't give a clear indication of the nature of his faith in the end; however, I thought the book well-worth the read.

Lift Up Your Heart: A Guide to Spiritual Peace by Fulton Sheen
Sheen's writing is like his speaking: passionate, clear, and to-the-point, but not just to any point, to the right one. He hits on the true nature, purpose, and fulfillment of man. He is knowledgable about the field of psychology, and this was one of the first works I read that really connected psychology and spirituality. He exposes the lie that selfishness will bring any kind of peace, and shows how peace can only come from selfless love. He also proclaims unashamedly that selfless love can only come from God. My commonplace book has almost two full pages of quotes from this book; it is full of truisms. Something I especially loved was his line-by-line exposition of parts of Francis Thompson's The Hound of Heaven,which has become a new favorite poem. It's a pleasure to read someone so devoted to Christ who is also so well-read!

Our Lady of Kibeho: Mary Speaks to the World from the Heart of Africa by Immaculée Ilibagiza

Even though I tend to be hesitant about mystics and miracles, it intruiged me that one of the few Vatican approved Marian apparitions took place in a little town in Rwanda. I thought that the prophecies of the genocide were convincing, and I was familiar with Immaculée from EWTN and her book Left to Tell about her experiences of the Rwandan genocide. I expected it to be a good story, but I didn't expect it to delight me like it did. I've had some emotional reservations about Marian devotion, but this story seemed to melt them away. The manner in which she appeared to the children was so simple and motherly. The children felt so surrounded by love that they would laugh and giggle in her presence. She showed intense love for her "children" in the messages she gave, and also wisdom, even though her words were so simple. I enjoyed reading about it from Immaculée's perspective, because she was a child when they apparitions began, and witnessed miracles -- not just physical miracles, but changes in the hearts of her family and village. Reading this book, there's been a change in me as well -- a greater devotion to Christ through Our Lady, and a deepened understanding of the mysteries of the faith through the Rosary and the special Rosary of the Seven Sorrows.

"I have learned the secret"

Being a Christian is like being a superhero. Absolutely nothing can conquer us if we choose to follow Christ, because Christ has already conquered it all.

Embarassment can't cast us down; jeers do nothing to us; we can take misunderstandings and even hatred from others. We can live through, sickness, pain, hunger, and thirst with actual joy and contentment. Even being stabbed to death; tortured & beheaded; hanged, drawn, & quartered; or murdered in gas chambers can't defeat us.

St. Paul told the Philippians, "I know how to be abased." I am learning this as I grow as a Christian. I can count it all joy when anything horrible, disappointing, or even irritating happens to me. If I have a headache, it's a joy because I can become more united to Christ. Every bit of suffering drives me to Him, my Love. Every bit helps me understand His Passion a little more. And anyway, He suffered it all before me, so I know I have nothing to fear.
You know what else? What's earthly suffering when we are living for an eternal Heaven? Nothing.
So HA, Pain! Love trumps you!

St. Paul also said, "I know how to abound." Everyone thinks they know how to do this, but few truly do. The Christians do because, when they have riches, they aren't attached to them, so they can use them freely. When a Christian enjoys earthly things, they can truly enjoy them. Why? Because they aren't trying to make them something they're not. They're NOT the end-all. We know that they are only tastes of the beauty of the life to come.

"In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and want.

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."