This will be the year I turn 30. Before the new decade begins, I want to reflect on each year of my 20s and the people who impacted me. December is already the time of thinking of far-away loved ones, writing cards, and praying blessings on all the friends collected in different stages of life. Two mentors in particular are on my mind tonight.
The summer I turned 20 I was working in College Hall. One work study job had led to another work study job which then opened up a summer nine-to-five. Really I should say that one great boss recommended me to someone who became another great boss who then created an entirely new job description so that I could work there full time after the end of the school year. These two women took me in and looked after me as if I was a family member. In a way, the whole school community was like a family. Debbie and Leslie were two of the reasons why it felt that way.
I met Debbie on my first college visit. She was the administrative assistant for the education department. I was trying to decide between two schools and this one was in 2nd place. After a few minutes in that office, it moved into 1st. I was hesitant about how it could work, but the department head Michele and her secretary Debbie immediately put their heads together to puzzle a way for me to graduate in 3 years. From the beginning I knew both practically and personally that I would be taken care of there. Debbie cared for me so well that she became the only person other than my own mother for whom I have ever written a “Happy Mother’s Day” card.
Debbie took me on as her student worker my freshman year. My first day on the job, she gave me an envelope and an address to print on it. She left for a meeting and let me figure it out on my own. Sure enough, it took me the length of the meeting to wrangle the software and printer to produce the single envelope. She always gave the help I needed while expecting just the right amount of independence. She expected my mistakes and encouraged my ideas. Even though she wasn’t technically a professor in the education department, I learned just as much about teaching from her as any member of the faculty.
Debbie was a true friend and Friend. Her Quaker faith permeated every calm word she spoke in that office where so many things tested her patience day in and day out. It stood the test. She discussed the deepest of theological differences with absolute peace and openness. We worshipped in silence at the Wednesday Quaker meeting. I loved God more because of her love and dutifulness toward Him.
When Debbie heard that the president’s office was looking to hire their first student worker, she connected me with Leslie. Leslie was at the center of all the madness in this college, and yet her office was the place everyone felt most relaxed. She was so congenial that people would flock to her desk just to talk with her. The constant distractions made it hard to get anything done, but she couldn’t help that people wanted to be around her. Leslie made you feel like a fellow conspirator in a secret mission to have fun in every task. She was so popular that in order to get any work done, I would have to take her place in grand central station while she hid away in my closet of an office.
Leslie laughed easily and kept everyone else laughing too. She had a funny way of saying absolutely normal things as if she were confiding something embarrassing to you. She made tedious tasks bearable. She always misheard things incorrectly in a harmlessly ridiculous way. And most of all she took a genuine interest in each person who walked into her office. We all felt that genuine concern through the way she asked questions about our lives and the chocolate she offered from the candy bowl as consolation for our worries. We had so many encouraging, deep, spiritual, and personal discussions that were just what I needed at that point in my life.
I learned from Debbie and Leslie that professionalism didn’t mean knowing what to do in every circumstance. They had to figure things out as they went. They built the confidence in me to make decisions and take responsibility for whatever came my way. They showed me how to gracefully handle the stressors of day to day life, Debbie with a calm persistence and Leslie with a sense of humor. I saw them go out of their way every single day to be kind to the people around them, and I still feel blessed that I got to be around them during that exciting crossroads of the first year of my 20s.
