Significant Books, Part VIII

The Silmarillion was a book that heightened my idea of mythology and beauty. Sadly, I've read many books just to say I've read them. What do I really expect to get out of a book if my only goal is to finish it? I may have gone into The Silmarillion with this mindset, but it was quickly forgotten. The Valaquenta (about the first 30 pages) was overwhelmingly clear and beautiful to me, so much so that I just turned back to the beginning and read it again. It was like Greek mythology, but holier. There's something so attractive about ancient stories, ones that are told with homage and a sense of reverence. I had experienced attraction to these types of things in my childhood, but this was a direct encounter, and one that changed my perspective toward things. I began to look for pure, ancient, reverent, beautiful qualities in every part of life - stories, music, nature, art, architecture...and even little things like penmanship or turns of phrase. The was something in the aura of The Silmarillion that I desired.

I loved the stories of heroism and romance, the history, the symbolism, the conflict between light and dark, the graceful language (could anyone but a linguist have written so beautifully?).

The greatest reason why I love The Silmarillion is because it helped me realize what I already had. The recent daily Mass readings have been in Revelation - a story with unmatched epic proportions. Why was I so enamored with the the song of the Ainur? Perhaps it's because I long so much for the song of the Lamb. My heart swelled at every thought of Elbereth; then it burst at the thought of my own mother, the heavenly queen with a crown of twelve stars.

What could be a greater conflict than the one between Love and sin? What greater story of heroism than the King of All sending His Only Son to redeem men? What more ravishing romance than the one between the Lamb and His Bride? What deeper history or symbolism than that found in our Scripture? The Psalms are like poems from inside me that spring out when I hear them.

I gradually found that the things drawing me to The Silmarillion were satiated in Christianity, and it was sweet to my mind. But the sweetest thought is that it's only a taster; there is an infinite amount of Truth to be devoured.

I'd rather be handless and in Heaven

What would I be willing to cut off if it would free me to grow closer to Christ? My elaborate wardrobe? My long hair?

Would I cut off my ego-feeding music or my lazy lingerings in bed? My self-absorbed facebook photos, my twitter?

Would I cut off ties from the world? from money? from my name?

I should be willing to cut off anything, because eternity is what I'm living for. These things are worthless. If you step back and look at them in the grand scheme of infinity, they really just become invisible. The only eternal things are our souls. I want to live for souls.

Baring Heart

One night, I was stargazing and imagining what it would be like to have a lover next to me. I'm not a very romantic person, and I'm certainly not the mushy or swoony type. It's just that the stars have such an effect. Of all the beauties of the world, the stars are the most...perfect. No matter how much I fill my eyes with them, it's never enough. They're so incomprehensible, I think I could watch them every night for the rest of my life and still be awed.

Well, I was imagining what it might be like someday to have a jewelled ring put on my hand by someone in love with me. It's only the type of thing every girl dreams about. There's a deep desire in all of us to be loved and treasured.

But then I looked up. I realized that the Love I'd been seeking and the Person I'd been avoiding were the same. I don't think I'd ever felt stupider in my life, actually. I knew that God was the Love I wanted, but choosing Him seemed so big and hard that I chased after things the earth could give. But what's a diamond ring compared to a whole sky of stars? And he was offering them to me; He made them for me - the most dazzling jewels you could imagine.

Nothing compares to this Love.

A Letter to Bible Christians

Dear Friends,
I call you "dear" because I have so much love for you! I call you "friends" because I know we have so much in common - we have Christ in common. If only we could share Him in Communion. That's the reason for this letter.

I was raised in your circles and your language is my mother tongue. I have heard your sermons & your Sunday School lessons; I read your books & sang your songs. Today, I was in one of your Bible studies, and I heard you say again what I've heard a thousand times. I love you for saying it; in fact, it's one of the reasons why I'm alive this day.

You live on the Scriptures. It's so evident how much you love them! Today, you told me to "hunger for the Word of God," to "chew on it for a few minutes every day," to "digest the Word." You've told me that it "nourishes" and "feeds the soul," that I would die without it.

But oh! you don't know how sweet the Word really tastes. You gave me this to memorize years ago and I still remember it:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through Him a all things were made, and without Him, nothing was made that has been made.

I know you hunger for the written word because you love the true Word of God - the Living Word that came down from Heaven. Don't you know He offers us His flesh to eat?

How can I describe my discovery of this? I don't know how to explain it exactly, but it reminds me of The Giver by Lois Lowry. All the characters live in a world without color, but they don't know what they're missing because they've never seen it. It's like I was living in a 2-dimensional world and found depth. To find that all your beautiful symbols are truly literal is such a discovery!

What you have is good. Go deeper. When you desire the Word you truly hunger for the Eucharist. I love you and I long and pray for you to have this infinite, unifying gift.

In Love with a Literary Character

Part of the reason why I love books is because they contain so many fascinating characters. There's a man in Around the World in Eighty Days named Phineas Fogg. Fogg is an appropriate surname because nobody quite knows how he functions; however, he always seems to be perfectly at ease, acting like he has the world under control, even under the most absurd of circumstances.

Far From the Madding Crowd contains a man named Gabriel Oake, a character whom I was attracted to because of his simplicity, honesty, and unassuming nature. He works hard and with patience, and his virtue is what brings him out on top in the end.

O Pioneers! is a story about a woman named Alexandra, whose fortitude and strength makes everyone around her depend on her.

Le Morte D'arthur tells the legends of King Arthur. Who can resist stories of a noble king, especially one who will be cut up in battle for the love of his people?


Edmond Dantes wasn't an interesting character until he was unjustly locked up in the Chateau d'If for 17 years. His suffering created him, and he in turn created one of the most intricate plots that has ever been twisted through my brain - The Count of Monte Cristo.

In The House of Seven Gables, all is darkness until Phoebe Pyncheon arrives. She spreads light wherever she goes, not being suffocated by the ghostly death all around her, but permeating the house with new life.

The main character of Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett, isn't afraid to say what requires saying, no matter how unconventional or bold it may be.

And one of my favorite literary characters is Alyosha from The Brothers Karamazov. I love him because he has such sensitivity and gentleness, incredibly evident in the way he sees and interacts with children. The love he spoke to them in the final chapter resonated with me so deeply that I wept. And the children couldn't help but love him back.

These are unrelated characters from unrelated books, but they all have qualities about them that make their stories worth reading and remembering. Now of all the books I've read, there's one that stands above the rest--and that is because its main character is the most fascinating one I've ever encountered. Phineas Fogg doesn't hold a candle to the man who walked calmly across the thunderous sea. Gabriel Oake was a meek man, but he didn't bend down to wash the feet of his friends. Did anyone ever say to Alexandra Bergson, "to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life"?

Arthur Pendragon was a mighty king, but this man's kingdom "is not of this world." And out of love for his people he was cut up by a crown of thorns. The Count of Monte Cristo had a tragic, mysterious past, but what does it compare to the "man of sorrows...acquainted with griefs"? Betrayed by his friend with a kiss.

Phoebe Pyncheon brought light to a dark place, this man was called "the true light that gives light to every man." Lizzie Bennett had a sharp tongue, but she never turned the tables of the marketplace, accusing the people of making a "den of robbers."

Alyosha Karamazov is only a shadow of the man who said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

Every trait I have ever loved in any character is found in This One.

What if you fell in love with a literary character and found out that He was real, and that He loved you back?

Tactility

The simplest way to say this is: Catholicism has blown open my spiritual life.

I tend to rationalize through my temptations; reconciling my mind to the sin. Imagine the weak mind and flesh reaching for some forbidden fruit, but then making the Sign of the Cross. It's a powerful, physical, paralyzing symbol. When I make it over myself I remember to whom I've entrusted body, and it saves me.

When I enter into the church to pray, I often come feeling foolish and ashamed for my selfish failings. Imagine entering, bent with the weight of self, but then seeing the font filled with Baptismal water. Immersing my hand and raising it dripping, I remember who washes me, and how He leads me to pass from old to new.

I hold a rosary and finger the beads; I walk between the 14 images of the stations of the cross; I touch a relic of the bone of a saint; I smell the chrism; I light the candle; I stand and bow and sit and kneel; I fast before every Mass to eat the Eucharistic meal.

Catholicism has captivated me with its corporeal symbols - its sacraments.

A sacrament is a visible sign of God's grace. The Blessed Sacrament is the ultimate sign of God's grace - Christ's tactile, physical body sacrificed for us. This is our Salvation! The Catholic Church constantly presents this Salvation over and over again through its sacraments.

It amazes me how such a huge, complicated thing like the Church can one single point to which everything leads. It's Jesus Christ, the man, the world's Salvation. And He is so real and tangible that we can feed on His saving flesh.

My Idea of a Man

There's someone in my life who's very imperfect. But my idea of a man is someone who will return to Christ continually, despite failures. This takes humility.

When I think of the word "masculine," I think of my dad. He "mans up" to his failures because he knows the Truth. When someone knows the Truth, it should humble them, not make them prideful, because the Way, the Truth, and the Life is the powerful One to whom every knee must bow.

My dad taught me about how the Truth is infinite and perfect. If we're going to enter it, we have to be humble, or we can't be changed by Him.

I am a person who struggles with pride, and sometimes the monster seems so unconquerable that I imagine it's useless to keep returning to God. But my dad demonstrates to me that it is NOT useless - that, in fact - it is the returning to God that defines you, and not the sin. The faith of my father feeds me hope every day.

My idea of a man is someone who treats me as an unrepeatable soul. And my idea of a man is someone who can treat me like a sister. My dad does both of these things; he affirms me every day in so many different kinds of ways.
-hugging and kissing me
-thanking me
-telling me I'm pretty
-poking fun at me with his dumb puns
-working hard for me
-reading things I read
-reading things I write
-being honest and willing to address all problems (because he truly cares)

And he calls me his sister in Christ.
-he respects me & wants to know what I think
-encourages my femininity
-advises and prays for me

The most masculine thing that my dad does is lead his family toward Christ. Not just spiritually, but physically! He guided me to the Eucharist, and he leads all of us to the Eucharist every week. He's the one helping us to heaven and I love him for it.