Catholic Causerie

2011 in Books: Non-Fiction

2011-12-25T11:45:00.000-08:00

Planet Narnia: The Seven Heavens in the Imagination of C.S. Lewis by Michael Ward

I grew up reading The Chronicles of Narnia, and was always enthralled by the beauty and creativity of the series. With those books is the first time I remember consciously recognizing foreshadowing and symbolism on my own. As someone who is studying to teach English, it's with fondness I remember those experiences. When I saw that Ward had published a book about the seven books corresponding to the seven medieval planets, I avoided it for a while because I had some idea that it might taint those early memories of Narnia. I didn't want to see those stories broken down and analyzed to death. But let me say that Planet Narnia actually enhanced those initial memories for me. It was not a deconstruction; Ward's approach was respectful of the stories as whole. In fact, his explication tied things together in such a way that showed the stories to be more "whole" than I originally thought. For example, the first half of Prince Caspian, when the children are in the forests and the trees are awakened, always seemed a strange and inconsistent contrast to the the last half, which is all about duels and battles. An understanding of Ares as both militant and silvan deity unites the two parts of the story. I found myself totally engrossed in discovery while reading Planet Narnia, and even more impressed at the subtlety of Lewis. The exciting discoveries, the sensibility to the stories as they were meant to be read, and convincing explication has left me to view Planet Narnia as an exemplar of literary criticism.

Jesus of Nazareth, Part Two: Holy Week: From the Entrance into Jerusalem to the Resurrection by Pope Benedict XVI

My dad gave this to me as an early Easter gift so that I could read it at the seasonable time of Lent. The individuality and centrality of Jesus Christ comes out so powerfully in Benexict XVI's writings. Certainly, the book gave me a deeper knowledge of how much my life is bound up in Christ's. It consistently presents Him as the One in whose presence every other desire pales to nothingness.

"...a distinguishing feature of the disciple of Jesus is the fact that he
'lives': beyond the mere fact of existing, he has found and embraced the real life that everyone is seeking. On the basis of such texts, the
early Christians called themselves simply 'the living' (hoi zontes).
They had found what all are seeking -- life itself, full and, hence,
indestructible life."

Pope Benedict discusses how Christ created us for this eternal life, made it possible by His death and resurrection, and calls us to life in the Gospels. The pope has impressive scholarly knowledge, but just as evident is his love for Christ, and how entirely his life is bound up in the Kingdom of God.

Milestones: Memoirs 1927-1977 by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger
How interesting to read about the early family memories of Pope Benedict XVI and his close-call experiences as a youth in Nazi Germany. In one story, he and a group of his comrades were battered by an SS officer trying to make "'voluntary' recruits," but he was sent away (relieved) with "mockery and verbal abuse" because of his stated intention to become a Catholic priest! I also enjoyed seeing the passion he had for his studies in seminary, and how that carried over to his passion for teaching. He wrote with enthusiasm about a great many authors and works, and discussed some of his own first projects. These memoirs confirmed even more for me what a scholarly pope we have.

A Lucky Child: A Memoir of Surviving Auschwitz as a Young Boy by Thomas Buergenthal
This was a riveting story, and it was, of course, interesting to get inside another personal perspective of World War II and the Holocaust. I've heard the distant, unsympathetic facts of the Holocaust many times before, but a first-hand account brings the tragedy to life. In one part, he describes how his family took in two young children who had lost their parents. In the short time they were together, the children became like his siblings, but it only took a quick gesture from an SS officer and they were sent away to the gas chambers, never to be heard of again. Things like that stood out to me from the book -- the suddenness of his separation from his mother -- the way that life could be going one way and then change so dramatically in only a few moments. In the end, though, I was disappointed at Buergenthal's attribution to fate and fate only.

My Grandfather's Son: A Memoir by Clarence Thomas
I don't normally read this many memoirs, but here is another one I read over the summer. I didn't know much about Justice Thomas, but I had respect and interest for "the silent justice." His memories of the strong, consistent, disciplinary parenting of his grandparents, and especially of Catholic school and serving Mass, held my attention. I learned about the inferiority he felt, even after earning a law degree from Yale. The affirmative action dynamics at the time made him feel that his degree was worthless. He wrote that, "as a symbol of my disillusionment, I peeled a fifteen-cent price sticker off a package of cigars and stuck it on the frame of my law degree...Instead of hanging it on the wall of my Supreme Court office, I stored it in the basement of my Virginia home." His description of the "high-tech lynching" was enlightening. However, he certainly did not paint an idealized version of himself; I was surprised at the candid admittance of faults and acknowledgement of mistakes throughout the book. A disappointment I had was that he didn't give a clear indication of the nature of his faith in the end; however, I thought the book well-worth the read.

Lift Up Your Heart: A Guide to Spiritual Peace by Fulton Sheen
Sheen's writing is like his speaking: passionate, clear, and to-the-point, but not just to any point, to the right one. He hits on the true nature, purpose, and fulfillment of man. He is knowledgable about the field of psychology, and this was one of the first works I read that really connected psychology and spirituality. He exposes the lie that selfishness will bring any kind of peace, and shows how peace can only come from selfless love. He also proclaims unashamedly that selfless love can only come from God. My commonplace book has almost two full pages of quotes from this book; it is full of truisms. Something I especially loved was his line-by-line exposition of parts of Francis Thompson's The Hound of Heaven,which has become a new favorite poem. It's a pleasure to read someone so devoted to Christ who is also so well-read!

Our Lady of Kibeho: Mary Speaks to the World from the Heart of Africa by Immaculée Ilibagiza

Even though I tend to be hesitant about mystics and miracles, it intruiged me that one of the few Vatican approved Marian apparitions took place in a little town in Rwanda. I thought that the prophecies of the genocide were convincing, and I was familiar with Immaculée from EWTN and her book Left to Tell about her experiences of the Rwandan genocide. I expected it to be a good story, but I didn't expect it to delight me like it did. I've had some emotional reservations about Marian devotion, but this story seemed to melt them away. The manner in which she appeared to the children was so simple and motherly. The children felt so surrounded by love that they would laugh and giggle in her presence. She showed intense love for her "children" in the messages she gave, and also wisdom, even though her words were so simple. I enjoyed reading about it from Immaculée's perspective, because she was a child when they apparitions began, and witnessed miracles -- not just physical miracles, but changes in the hearts of her family and village. Reading this book, there's been a change in me as well -- a greater devotion to Christ through Our Lady, and a deepened understanding of the mysteries of the faith through the Rosary and the special Rosary of the Seven Sorrows.

"I have learned the secret"

2011-09-30T17:06:00.000-07:00

Being a Christian is like being a superhero. Absolutely nothing can conquer us if we choose to follow Christ, because Christ has already conquered it all.

Embarassment can't cast us down; jeers do nothing to us; we can take misunderstandings and even hatred from others. We can live through, sickness, pain, hunger, and thirst with actual joy and contentment. Even being stabbed to death; tortured & beheaded; hanged, drawn, & quartered; or murdered in gas chambers can't defeat us.

St. Paul told the Philippians, "I know how to be abased." I am learning this as I grow as a Christian. I can count it all joy when anything horrible, disappointing, or even irritating happens to me. If I have a headache, it's a joy because I can become more united to Christ. Every bit of suffering drives me to Him, my Love. Every bit helps me understand His Passion a little more. And anyway, He suffered it all before me, so I know I have nothing to fear.
You know what else? What's earthly suffering when we are living for an eternal Heaven? Nothing.
So HA, Pain! Love trumps you!

St. Paul also said, "I know how to abound." Everyone thinks they know how to do this, but few truly do. The Christians do because, when they have riches, they aren't attached to them, so they can use them freely. When a Christian enjoys earthly things, they can truly enjoy them. Why? Because they aren't trying to make them something they're not. They're NOT the end-all. We know that they are only tastes of the beauty of the life to come.

"In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and want.

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

Welcome to Immortality School

2011-08-16T08:51:00.001-07:00

The search for the Fountain of Youth has never ended. Humans have always been trying to cure themselves of Mortality's children - Aging, Disease, Plague, Famine, War, Flood, &c. The most unhealthy thing that can happen to you is to die.

Death is a natural process, but everything in us screams DEATH IS NOT NATURAL!!! when we are faced with it. Face a corpse and see how natural you feel. We can't look at a body stripped of its spirit without a deep sense of strangeness. Death is so wrong for us.

Why, when people come to the end of their lives, do they wonder at "how quickly time went by"? A minute is always 60 seconds, an hour is always 60 minutes, a day is always 24 hours. We have never known time to be any slower; death has always come at the same, ceaseless pace, so when we meet it, why are we so surprised? To have a sand glass emptying our lives away is so wrong for us!

What would you say to a man who, not only affirmed the existence of a Fountain of Youth, but claimed to be the very Fountain!

Some said, "This saying is hard, who can accept it?"

One said, "You have the words of eternal life."

Others said, "Crucify him!"

Are we so resigned to the wrong of death that we would kill One who offered the right? He claimed, "Whoever believes has eternal life," "Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life." "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish."

I don't know about you, but I think I would like to be immortal! Not living forever with pain and decay, but with love and vitality. This man offers that! And He is called the "Firstborn from the Dead" -- having ascended from this earth in a physical, human, but imperishable body. He sent for his mother in the same way, and He promises us a "Resurrection from the Dead."

I think I will enter His Immortality School. I'll feast and celebrate on the Firstborn's birthday - Sunday - when He was born from a tomb to an everlasting life. I'll follow His words to the death, and without fear, because He literally conquered death.

Death has no power over me; I am freed! Alleluia!

The Artist

2011-06-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

His canvas is the sky; His media are water and air.

Every painting is a study of His original.

His most prized works of art, the ones that He labored over most to make perfect, are little artists.

These artists are fashioned in such a way that they can choose to embrace or deface the Artist's creations, and they have chosen wrongly.

Their colors run together and become confused, they become darkened, and are thrown about without any thought of preserving their original beauty. They were not made for this.

But, if they will let Him, the Artist will painstakingly re-fashion them into the perfect works of art He designed. Then they will be more beautiful than any of His landscapes or sunsets, His moonrises or constellations.

Mysterious Man

2011-05-31T20:12:00.000-07:00

He said so many strange things, seemed so thoughtful and wise. He spoke as if he were a thousand years old when he was only 33. He would go off by himself, away from the crowds. What did he do when he was up on the mountainside? Perhaps his friends watched him from a distance, seeing only his lips move, not knowing what he said.

He broke so many social rules, speaking to a trice-outcast woman at a well, confronting leaders as hypocrites, inviting himself to dinner at a tax-collector's house. He didn't have a place to lay his head; he went on foot from place to place. He told so many incomprehensible stories about things like yeast, coins, grapes, seeds, pearls, and weddings. Those listening could tell they were analogies, but didn't understand what he was analogizing.

What a weird man. What weird things happened around him! Think of all those blind, lame, deaf, bleeding, and dying people that flocked to him and came away raving about their healing, even though he told them not to. Why did he tell them to be silent about their healing?

What did he scribble in the sand at the stoning of the adulterous woman? What must she have thought when his simple, piercing question drove away her torturers, and he alone remained? How must she have looked up at him? I wonder what his face looked like when he told her to go and sin no more.

How amazing that a 12-year-old would somehow end up teaching the wisest of the wise in the temple! He must be special one; he will grow up to do great things.

Everyone expected him to do great things. If he was the Messiah, he would free them from Roman rule. He was the leader they looked for, but he was a meek, silent man who was led like a sheep to the slaughter to be crucified by the Romans. The people must have been shocked and totally bewildered as to what kind of leader he really was.

Did the earth really shake when he died, and did the temple veil really tear in half at that moment? It makes me wonder.

His followers were totally insane. What kind of crazy idiot would WANT to be crucified UPSIDOWN? They spoke in all kinds of unexpected languages and cared as little for money and possessions as anyone. They were glad to die, and there never ran out of people who were glad to die for him. 2000 years after this man lived, there are still people who rave about him.

I don't know how anyone can rest until they find the truth out about this mysterious man. Who is he and what is he about?

Significant Books, Part X

2011-04-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

What if Heaven's not the afterlife, but rather, earth is the pre-life? This was the epiphany I had when reading Miracles by C.S. Lewis four Easters ago. This book made me consider the supernatural world at an entirely higher level. As a child, my idea of Heaven was a limited little dream world. I imagined flying over green hills, children playing, and a smiling Jesus sitting on a lawn chair. It wasn't a bad prospect, but I don't see it as worth dying a martyr's death.

What if Heaven's not the supernatural, but rather, earth is the sub-natural? This is a passage from the book that I will never forget:

Confusion between Spirit and soul (or "ghost") has here done much harm. Ghosts
must be pictured, if we are to picture them at all, as shadowy and tenuous, for
ghosts are half-men, one element abstracted from a creature that ought to have
flesh. But Spirit, if pictured at all, must be pictured in the very opposite
way. Neither God nor even the gods are "shadowy" in traditional imagination...If we must have a mental picture to symbolise Spirit, we should represent it as something heavier than matter.

A crude analogy of miracles in my mind is the idea of a 3-dimensional person strolling into a 2-dimensional world. He seems to break all the rules; he seems crazy and will probably be killed off. But he is the one with most substance; they simply can't comprehend it.

We are "real" because we are derived from the true Reality, the Existence, the I AM. The common cultural images of God simply won't do. If there is a supernatural Being like that, He must be absolutely terrifyingly unfathomable, but how many of us regard Him in that way?

Thinking about this makes me wonder about the growing belief in "spirituality," but not in God. It seems that we think that, if Nature is the only thing that exists, it must have existed forever self-sustainably, and is therefore somehow spiritual or supernatural. However, that leaves us with spiritual characterizations, but no Character, no Person.

I don't know if that will make sense to anyone reading this; I shied away from writing this post for a long while because Miracles has inspired me to ponder infinity more than any other book, and infinity is impossible to explain, only to expound upon...more...and more...and more...however, I think the expoundings of C.S. Lewis are well worth reading and re-reading.

The Breadth of Suffering

2011-03-29T13:40:00.000-07:00

Meditating on the Passion of Christ reveals so many truths to the soul. It amazes me that the passion is so bloody and gruesome, but at the same time, comforting. Maybe comforting isn't the right word. Restoring. It would seem that God Himself endured every kind of suffering that we endure as humans. Christ must have been the most human man in history. He endured: hunger, temptation, poverty, fatigue, dread, betrayal of friends, indifference of friends, death of friends, being misunderstood, ostracism, attempted stoning, pain in the head, pain in the feet, pain in the hands, pain in the side, pain in the back, pain in the knees, inability to breathe, dizziness from blood loss, thirst, falling, falling again, mortification, splinters, falling again, watching his mother suffer, mockery, beatings, injustice, helplessness, feeling totally forsaken by God, death, hell. Is there anything we suffer that He doesn't understand?

Dressing Simply for Lent

2011-03-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

This is the way I want to see clothes: Beauty is not in the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, & wearing of fine clothing. Clothes are beautiful, but they themselves are not beauty. Rather, beauty is in the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. What matters more: God's sight or man's? Which carries more weight? What did Our Lord Himself choose to wear when he walked on earth? He wore a simple tunic without seam, woven from top to bottom. Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin (nor shop); yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Is a child ever any less or more beautiful because of the way they're dressed? Truly, I say to you, unless you turn & become like children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Why do we trouble ourselves so much with things that have no eternal value? Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroy. We should be ready to lay our garments across the back of the donkey that Jesus rode into Jerusalem. We should gladly lay them on the road before Him, praising Him. After all, He was stripped of His garments to be exposed on a criminal's cross for love of us. "Yet even now," says the Lord, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts & not your garments." The Lord desires our hearts. What good is it if we "offer" things up for 40 days if we have no love? It means nothing. We must offer it for a purpose; offer it with devotion. My heart should go first to Him, then everything else can follow: my wardrobe, my jewelry, my "style." Once my perspective is focused on Him, then I can have the right perspective on clothes.

Praying the Creed

2011-02-16T06:48:00.000-08:00

To someone who was raised Evangelical, "praying" something like the Apostle's Creed is a little odd. It doesn't sound like a prayer; it doesn't address God (or anyone really). It's a statement of things we believe.

Well, our lives should be a statement of things we believe, and our lives should also be a prayer - daily presenting our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God (Rom 12:1).

Then how are we living the Creed? Reciting it is only the verbal affirmation, but are we affirming it with our actions?

I believe in God.

...the Father. Really? Do I acknowledge my Father? Do I act as His child? Do I try to become worthy of His inheritance?

...the Almighty. Do I have proper awe and fear toward the One with all might? Do I trust in his power when I don't know how things will turn out, or do I try to be "almighty" over my own life?

...Creator of heaven and earth. When I walk outside, do I rejoice in the beauty of the created world? Do I rejoice in the beauty of people created in God's image?

I believe in Jesus Christ.

...His only Son, our LORD. Who has lordship over my daily thoughts and actions?

...who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary. Do I really believe in a man who was conceived in the womb of a virgin? If true, it was the most marvelous birth in history. Do I act like it was? Do I tell others about it?

...suffered under Pontius Pilate, was cruficied, died, and was buried. Do I daily remember the sacrifice that our Lord offered for us? The fact that God Himself would suffer in a human body and die should never cease to put us in awe or inspire us toward love.

...He descended into Hell. He'll do anything for us! He went to Hell and back to win our souls! What am I doing for Him?

...He ascended into Heaven. Do I acknowledge the power of the Man who confronted death, defeated it entirely, and then ascended to eternal life?

...He is seated at the right hand of the Father. If the Lord of my life is in the most powerful position of Heaven, why should I ever worry?

...from whence He shall come to judge the living & the dead. Am I preparing myself (and others) for a judgement day?

I believe in the Holy Spirit.

...the Holy Catholic Church. If I believe the Holy Spirit preserves this Church, shouldn't I follow and defend her?

...the communion of saints. Am I aware of the "cloud of witnesses" around me? Do I make an effort to learn from the wisdom of the saints? Do I ask for their prayers?

...the forgiveness of sins. Do I return continuously to God because I know He will forgive me, or do I stubbornly hold off on repentance?

...the resurrection of the body and life everlasting. What is the goal of my life, my first desire, my true home?

Amen. I want to be saying "Amen" with my life.

Significant Books, Part IX

2011-01-04T20:45:00.001-08:00

This book has helped me understand freedom and love, desire and fulfillment, femininity and masculinity. I never realized how much I needed Mary till I read it. My Protestant heritage did not set up Mary to play a role in my spiritual life. As a new Catholic, I accepted Marian dogmas and devotion; I even defended them, but I didn't really love them till I read The World's First Love by Fulton Sheen.

In Mary I find my vocation as a person. God could work His will through her because she had humility.

My soul doth magnify the Lord / and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Savior / because he hath regarded the humility of his handmaid.

And she could be perfectly glorified in her Assumption and Coronation because she had no self-glory. She gave everything she was to God, fulfilling her human purpose. This morning, I woke up with hope, because even though it may seem impossible for God to work His perfect will through me, I know He can because He's done it before -- with Mary.

My vocation as a person is to give glory to God, and none to myself. Then my spirit can truly rejoice like Mary in her Magnificat.

In her I find my vocation as a woman.

"She has the vocation of generating life, either in the flesh or in the spirit..." - Chapter 6 - The Virgin Mother

She gave physical life to Our Lord, and she gives spiritual life to the Church as its mother. We are "her offspring, those who keep God's commandments and bear witness to Jesus." (Revelation 12:17)

My vocation as a woman is to give life, which is to give Christ. Mary gave Christ as no other could have possibly done!

"The key to understanding Mary is this: We do not start with Mary. We start with Christ, the Son of the Living God! The less we think of Him, the less we think of her; the more we think of Him, the more we think of her; the more we adore His Divinity, the more we venerate her Motherhood; the less we adore His Divinity, the less reason we have for respecting her." - (Ch. 5)

Gifts of 2010

2011-01-02T18:33:00.000-08:00

A year ago, spending the first few moments of January 1, 2010 in the candle-lit chapel, praying and singing with my sister and our friends, asking God to sustain us in the new year.

Many days (and nights) of ice-skating on the pond with my family - racing, jumping, misusing hockey sticks, spinning, falling, and laughing.

Passing by the Church every day after class, often stopping and encountering the supernatural graces of adoration.

Enjoying chapters of Moby Dick every night (for a goodly time), being awed, amused, and better educated on whaling ships. Enjoying Martin Chuzzlewit after that and getting my much-loved annual dose of Dickens.

A Lent without music. A Holy Thursday Mass and constant adoration with my father and sister until midnight. A fervent and glorious Easter Vigil.

High school graduation, 18th birthday, first job. The opportunity to increase my solidarity with humanity by working a cash register and a drive-thru. Praising God that I could find a job in the employment wasteland of my hometown.

Sitting in the heat and light of the sun on the community college lawn, closing my eyes to the music and choosing Deas Vail every single time.

Meeting a Dominican sister in the Dairy Queen. A few months later, getting a letter from halfway across the country, explaining that she had met a friend of mine who gave her my address. Beginning a treasured correspondence.

Taking a roadtrip with my sister, listening to (m)orning by Mae as we drove into a sunrising sky. Meeting our family at the campgrounds, getting caught hiking in the rain to find shelter in a cleft and pray a rosary.

Stargazing late into the night with Future of Forestry's Traveler's Song repeating on my iPod.

Picnicking for my sister's birthday. Picknicking with my cousins. Picknicking often on the college campus with newly made friends.

Making use of the school's tucked away meditation room and rediscovering the mysteries of the Gospel with what became a daily rosary.

Eating Swiss cheese, talking to fish, watching childrens' movies, burning popcorn, playing outdated board games, re-enacting ET, and swaying in unison with my first roommate in the freshman dorm.

A global issues class that blew my mind twice a week.

A Psalter's concert that brought Psalms to my lips for weeks afterward.

Moongazing with a stranger on the campus lawn and talking theology for hours into the night, losing favor with campus security. Having the widest range of philosophical discussions I've ever had in any one semester of school.

Watching my little siblings get older. Conversing with the 2-year-old whose default answer to any question was "applesauce." Playing and laughing with them.

Celebrating the 50th anniversary of both sets of grandparents! Savoring reunions and reminiscences and thanking God for my rare family heritage!

And the biggest gift of all: meeting my sister Maria on Christmas Day.

Holy Music

2010-12-20T12:19:00.000-08:00

The beautiful, ancient, & reverent things that I loved about The Silmarillion, I also love about Advent & Christmas music. The songs played on the radio...well...they have their place, but they don't come near to moving me as these do. These are songs that, like the cold night air wakes my body, wake my soul to the things of God.

I wish I could type all the verses to all of them, but these will give a taste. [I've put links to some favorite arrangements, although it'd probably be safe to say that my favorite arrangement of every one would be: boys choir. Some of the videos are tacky, but it's the music that counts.]

Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence

Let all mortal flesh keep silence,
and with fear and trembling stand.
Ponder nothing earthly minded,
for with blessing in his hand,
Christ, our God, to earth descendeth,
our full homage to demand.

[Fernando Ortega]

The Breton Carol

A wonder sight to see,
Noël, Noël, Noël,
God's son for us is born and in a manger laid
by Mary, mother and maid,
Noël, Noël, Noël

[The Chieftans (in Gaelic)]

Gaudete

Gaudete, gaudete, Christus est natus
ex Maria virgine, gaudete!
Tempus adest gratiae / hoc quod optabamus
carmina laetitiae / devote reddamus.

(Rejoice, rejoice, Christ is born
of the Virgin Mary, rejoice!
The time of grace has come / this that we have desired
verses of joy / let us devoutly return.

[Anuna]

Of the Father's Love Begotten

Of the Father's love begotten
ere the world began to be
He is Alpha and Omega
He the source and ending, He
of the things that are, that have been
and that future years shall see
evermore and evermore.

[John Michael Talbot]

Coventry Carol (Lully, Lullay)

O sisters, too, how may we do
for to preserve this day
this poor youngling for whom we sing
By by lully lullay (verse 1)

Herod the king, in his raging
charged he hath this day
his men of might in his own sight
all young children to slay (verse 2)

[Hayley Westenra]

(I like to sing this especially on Dec. 28 - Feast of the Holy Innocents)

Riu Riu Chiu (Nightingale sounds)

Este qu'es nascido es el gran monarca
Cristo patriarca de carne vestido
hanos redimido con se hazer chiquito
aunqu'era infinito, finito se hizera. (Verse 2)

(The newborn child is the mightiest monarch
Christ patriarchal invested with flesh
he made himself small and so redeemed us
he who was infinite became finite.)

[Sixpence!]

Lo, How a Rose Ere Blooming

Lo, how a rose ere blooming
from tender branch hath sprung
of Jesse's lineage coming,
as men of hold have sung.
It came a floweret bright,
amid the cold of winter
when half spent was the night.

[John Michael Talbot]

(I love to sing this on Dec. 19 when we pray the O Radix Iesse Antiphon)

In the Bleak Midwinter

In the bleak midwinter / frosty winds made moan
earth stood hard as iron / water like a stone.
Snow had fallen, snow on snow / snow on snow
in the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Angels and archangels / may have gathered there
Cherubim and seraphim / thronged in the air
But his mother only / in her maiden bliss
worshiped the Beloved with a kiss. (verse 3)

[Chanticleer]

Noël Nouvelet (or "Sing We Now of Christmas")

Noël nouvelet, Noël chantons ici
dévotes gens, crions à Dieu merci.
Chantons Noël pour le roi nouvelet
Noël nouvelet, Noël chantons ici

(New Christmas, Christmas we sing here
devout peoples, let us shout our thanks to God
Let us sing Christmas for the newborn king
New Christmas, Christmas we sing here.)

[Loreena McKennitt]

Sussex Carol

On Christmas night all Christians sing
to hear the news the angels bring. x2
News of great joy, news of great mirth
news of our merciful king's birth! (verse 1)

All out of darkness we have light
Which made the angels sing this night x2
Glory to God and peace to men
Now and forevermore, amen! (verse 4)

[Choir of King's College]

The Wexford Carol

Good people all, this Christmas time,
consider well and bear in mind
what our good God for us has done
in sending his beloved Son.

With Mary holy we should pray
to God with love this Christmas day.
In Bethlehem, upon that morn,
there was a blessed Messiah born.

[Meav Ni Mhaolchatha]

Above all is Handel's Messiah. Not only is it beautiful, the words are unmatched because they're from the mouth of prophets thousands of years ago. "Comfort ye my people..." "yet once a little while and I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land..." "but who may abide the day of his coming? and who shall stand when he appears? For He is like a refiner's fire." "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together, for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it..." "every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill made low..." "and he shall purify the sons of Levi..."

Following Yonder Stars

2010-12-13T21:35:00.000-08:00

Did you see the meteor shower tonight? It was brilliant; I didn't even try to count the number of shooting stars. It was cold, but it was worth it to pray through the joyful mysteries there under the open sky. Do you know, almost every time I've prayed a rosary this Advent, I've been convicted about how shallow our observation of this seasons is. Not just with all the consumerism, but even with our attitude toward Christ's coming. We're so comfortable with it; it gives us nice, warm feelings of joy & peace, &c. &c. But really, how could we be so comfortable with Christmas? If the same God who created those stars really sent His Divine Son to be born in a cave on a cold winter's night, that should put us in awe, confusion, distaste, or anything but comfort. Oh, I wish I could tell you in a way that you'd understand: the quaint little porcelain nativity set isn't just quaint!

Those stars up there look so small & sparkly & even "cute." But they are made up of fire and power, larger than you can imagine and farther than you could begin to think. The Nativity scene is sweet to look at, perhaps peaceful and comforting. But if you would only think of what it's made of: the burning fire of love and the power that breaks death. If we could only see its mysteries!

I don't understand how people can attend the solemn assembly of the Christ Mass with such ease. The whole Mass is a challenge: a presentation of Christ's death-to-self and a call for us to die to ourselves. They don't hear the words? They don't see the sacrifice on the altar? Why do they go except to meet a cultural norm? How can something so mindblowingly intense be reduced to a meaningless cultural motion? Christmas is infinitely more!

I want you all to see the awesome beauty and mystery of Christmas. Look up at the sky and stare at the stars that have become so commonplace to dispassionate eyes. Don't let the Nativity become commonplace in your life, because it is anything but common. God touching man is supernatural. God becoming man seems totally unnatural, but it brings nature back to order, redeems from sin and makes us right again.

Significant Books, Part VIII

2010-11-27T10:20:00.000-08:00

The Silmarillion was a book that heightened my idea of mythology and beauty. Sadly, I've read many books just to say I've read them. What do I really expect to get out of a book if my only goal is to finish it? I may have gone into The Silmarillion with this mindset, but it was quickly forgotten. The Valaquenta (about the first 30 pages) was overwhelmingly clear and beautiful to me, so much so that I just turned back to the beginning and read it again. It was like Greek mythology, but holier. There's something so attractive about ancient stories, ones that are told with homage and a sense of reverence. I had experienced attraction to these types of things in my childhood, but this was a direct encounter, and one that changed my perspective toward things. I began to look for pure, ancient, reverent, beautiful qualities in every part of life - stories, music, nature, art, architecture...and even little things like penmanship or turns of phrase. The was something in the aura of The Silmarillion that I desired.

I loved the stories of heroism and romance, the history, the symbolism, the conflict between light and dark, the graceful language (could anyone but a linguist have written so beautifully?).

The greatest reason why I love The Silmarillion is because it helped me realize what I already had. The recent daily Mass readings have been in Revelation - a story with unmatched epic proportions. Why was I so enamored with the the song of the Ainur? Perhaps it's because I long so much for the song of the Lamb. My heart swelled at every thought of Elbereth; then it burst at the thought of my own mother, the heavenly queen with a crown of twelve stars.

What could be a greater conflict than the one between Love and sin? What greater story of heroism than the King of All sending His Only Son to redeem men? What more ravishing romance than the one between the Lamb and His Bride? What deeper history or symbolism than that found in our Scripture? The Psalms are like poems from inside me that spring out when I hear them.

I gradually found that the things drawing me to The Silmarillion were satiated in Christianity, and it was sweet to my mind. But the sweetest thought is that it's only a taster; there is an infinite amount of Truth to be devoured.

I'd rather be handless and in Heaven

2010-10-20T18:20:00.000-07:00

What would I be willing to cut off if it would free me to grow closer to Christ? My elaborate wardrobe? My long hair?

Would I cut off my ego-feeding music or my lazy lingerings in bed? My self-absorbed facebook photos, my twitter?

Would I cut off ties from the world? from money? from my name?

I should be willing to cut off anything, because eternity is what I'm living for. These things are worthless. If you step back and look at them in the grand scheme of infinity, they really just become invisible. The only eternal things are our souls. I want to live for souls.

Baring Heart

2010-09-27T17:41:00.000-07:00

One night, I was stargazing and imagining what it would be like to have a lover next to me. I'm not a very romantic person, and I'm certainly not the mushy or swoony type. It's just that the stars have such an effect. Of all the beauties of the world, the stars are the most...perfect. No matter how much I fill my eyes with them, it's never enough. They're so incomprehensible, I think I could watch them every night for the rest of my life and still be awed.

Well, I was imagining what it might be like someday to have a jewelled ring put on my hand by someone in love with me. It's only the type of thing every girl dreams about. There's a deep desire in all of us to be loved and treasured.

But then I looked up. I realized that the Love I'd been seeking and the Person I'd been avoiding were the same. I don't think I'd ever felt stupider in my life, actually. I knew that God was the Love I wanted, but choosing Him seemed so big and hard that I chased after things the earth could give. But what's a diamond ring compared to a whole sky of stars? And he was offering them to me; He made them for me - the most dazzling jewels you could imagine.

Nothing compares to this Love.

A Letter to Bible Christians

2010-09-15T13:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,
I call you "dear" because I have so much love for you! I call you "friends" because I know we have so much in common - we have Christ in common. If only we could share Him in Communion. That's the reason for this letter.

I was raised in your circles and your language is my mother tongue. I have heard your sermons & your Sunday School lessons; I read your books & sang your songs. Today, I was in one of your Bible studies, and I heard you say again what I've heard a thousand times. I love you for saying it; in fact, it's one of the reasons why I'm alive this day.

You live on the Scriptures. It's so evident how much you love them! Today, you told me to "hunger for the Word of God," to "chew on it for a few minutes every day," to "digest the Word." You've told me that it "nourishes" and "feeds the soul," that I would die without it.

But oh! you don't know how sweet the Word really tastes. You gave me this to memorize years ago and I still remember it:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through Him a all things were made, and without Him, nothing was made that has been made.

I know you hunger for the written word because you love the true Word of God - the Living Word that came down from Heaven. Don't you know He offers us His flesh to eat?

How can I describe my discovery of this? I don't know how to explain it exactly, but it reminds me of The Giver by Lois Lowry. All the characters live in a world without color, but they don't know what they're missing because they've never seen it. It's like I was living in a 2-dimensional world and found depth. To find that all your beautiful symbols are truly literal is such a discovery!

What you have is good. Go deeper. When you desire the Word you truly hunger for the Eucharist. I love you and I long and pray for you to have this infinite, unifying gift.

In Love with a Literary Character

2010-07-31T19:58:00.000-07:00

Part of the reason why I love books is because they contain so many fascinating characters. There's a man in Around the World in Eighty Days named Phineas Fogg. Fogg is an appropriate surname because nobody quite knows how he functions; however, he always seems to be perfectly at ease, acting like he has the world under control, even under the most absurd of circumstances.

Far From the Madding Crowd contains a man named Gabriel Oake, a character whom I was attracted to because of his simplicity, honesty, and unassuming nature. He works hard and with patience, and his virtue is what brings him out on top in the end.

O Pioneers! is a story about a woman named Alexandra, whose fortitude and strength makes everyone around her depend on her.

Le Morte D'arthur tells the legends of King Arthur. Who can resist stories of a noble king, especially one who will be cut up in battle for the love of his people?

Edmond Dantes wasn't an interesting character until he was unjustly locked up in the Chateau d'If for 17 years. His suffering created him, and he in turn created one of the most intricate plots that has ever been twisted through my brain - The Count of Monte Cristo.

In The House of Seven Gables, all is darkness until Phoebe Pyncheon arrives. She spreads light wherever she goes, not being suffocated by the ghostly death all around her, but permeating the house with new life.

The main character of Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett, isn't afraid to say what requires saying, no matter how unconventional or bold it may be.

And one of my favorite literary characters is Alyosha from The Brothers Karamazov. I love him because he has such sensitivity and gentleness, incredibly evident in the way he sees and interacts with children. The love he spoke to them in the final chapter resonated with me so deeply that I wept. And the children couldn't help but love him back.

These are unrelated characters from unrelated books, but they all have qualities about them that make their stories worth reading and remembering. Now of all the books I've read, there's one that stands above the rest--and that is because its main character is the most fascinating one I've ever encountered. Phineas Fogg doesn't hold a candle to the man who walked calmly across the thunderous sea. Gabriel Oake was a meek man, but he didn't bend down to wash the feet of his friends. Did anyone ever say to Alexandra Bergson, "to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life"?

Arthur Pendragon was a mighty king, but this man's kingdom "is not of this world." And out of love for his people he was cut up by a crown of thorns. The Count of Monte Cristo had a tragic, mysterious past, but what does it compare to the "man of sorrows...acquainted with griefs"? Betrayed by his friend with a kiss.

Phoebe Pyncheon brought light to a dark place, this man was called "the true light that gives light to every man." Lizzie Bennett had a sharp tongue, but she never turned the tables of the marketplace, accusing the people of making a "den of robbers."

Alyosha Karamazov is only a shadow of the man who said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

Every trait I have ever loved in any character is found in This One.

What if you fell in love with a literary character and found out that He was real, and that He loved you back?

Tactility

2010-07-17T17:35:00.000-07:00

The simplest way to say this is: Catholicism has blown open my spiritual life.

I tend to rationalize through my temptations; reconciling my mind to the sin. Imagine the weak mind and flesh reaching for some forbidden fruit, but then making the Sign of the Cross. It's a powerful, physical, paralyzing symbol. When I make it over myself I remember to whom I've entrusted body, and it saves me.

When I enter into the church to pray, I often come feeling foolish and ashamed for my selfish failings. Imagine entering, bent with the weight of self, but then seeing the font filled with Baptismal water. Immersing my hand and raising it dripping, I remember who washes me, and how He leads me to pass from old to new.

I hold a rosary and finger the beads; I walk between the 14 images of the stations of the cross; I touch a relic of the bone of a saint; I smell the chrism; I light the candle; I stand and bow and sit and kneel; I fast before every Mass to eat the Eucharistic meal.

Catholicism has captivated me with its corporeal symbols - its sacraments.

A sacrament is a visible sign of God's grace. The Blessed Sacrament is the ultimate sign of God's grace - Christ's tactile, physical body sacrificed for us. This is our Salvation! The Catholic Church constantly presents this Salvation over and over again through its sacraments.

It amazes me how such a huge, complicated thing like the Church can one single point to which everything leads. It's Jesus Christ, the man, the world's Salvation. And He is so real and tangible that we can feed on His saving flesh.

My Idea of a Man

2010-05-22T19:52:00.000-07:00

There's someone in my life who's very imperfect. But my idea of a man is someone who will return to Christ continually, despite failures. This takes humility.

When I think of the word "masculine," I think of my dad. He "mans up" to his failures because he knows the Truth. When someone knows the Truth, it should humble them, not make them prideful, because the Way, the Truth, and the Life is the powerful One to whom every knee must bow.

My dad taught me about how the Truth is infinite and perfect. If we're going to enter it, we have to be humble, or we can't be changed by Him.

I am a person who struggles with pride, and sometimes the monster seems so unconquerable that I imagine it's useless to keep returning to God. But my dad demonstrates to me that it is NOT useless - that, in fact - it is the returning to God that defines you, and not the sin. The faith of my father feeds me hope every day.

My idea of a man is someone who treats me as an unrepeatable soul. And my idea of a man is someone who can treat me like a sister. My dad does both of these things; he affirms me every day in so many different kinds of ways.
-hugging and kissing me
-thanking me
-telling me I'm pretty
-poking fun at me with his dumb puns
-working hard for me
-reading things I read
-reading things I write
-being honest and willing to address all problems (because he truly cares)

And he calls me his sister in Christ.
-he respects me & wants to know what I think
-encourages my femininity
-advises and prays for me

The most masculine thing that my dad does is lead his family toward Christ. Not just spiritually, but physically! He guided me to the Eucharist, and he leads all of us to the Eucharist every week. He's the one helping us to heaven and I love him for it.

What is the value of faith?

2010-04-29T20:15:00.000-07:00

The things I love the most about our faith are the things I don’t know. Mysteries the substance for which I hunger and feed upon. This is why the Rosary touches me in such a profound way. Only recently, while drudging my way through some novenas (yes, drudging) have I started to truly realize the value of its mysteries.

Besides the glorious, sorrowful, joyful, & luminous mysteries, there are also three little Aves at the beginning of the Rosary where (I’m told) we are to pray for the virtues of faith, hope, and love. These virtues are mysteries in themselves.

When praying these Aves, I would often have in mind 1 Corinthians 13:

At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially, then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Because love is the greatest, I used to pray more fervently for that virtue than for the other two. They didn’t seem as important. In fact, I sometimes wondered how faith and hope were even useful.

When praying my novena, which was for the faithless, I started thinking about faith in a different light. I realized that they were hopeless because they were faithless. They couldn’t have hope because they didn’t believe in it.

What do we have hope in? We hope for the greatest of these, the greatest desire of our hearts – Love.

So we must have faith in hope, and hope in love. They lead to each other, and they can't be separated. At present we know only partially, but someday we shall know fully!

The Shores of Valinor

2010-03-29T08:27:00.000-07:00

The description for this blog is "these are the things that intrigue and inspire me." I suppose it's obvious that I'm mostly inspired by books, but there are an endless amount of things that catch my interest. One thing that's been affecting me lately is this painting by Ted Nasmith:

Click this link to view larger

It's been my desktop image for a week, and I keep noticing more things I like about it. Aesthetically, I love the width of the landscape, the majesty of the mountains & clouds, and especially the depth & lustre of the sea. But more than that, I love how the light at the top of the mountain is bright, but hidden. You can see that there must be a great canyon beyond the brink, but that too is hidden. The scene is beautiful, but it heightens your desire to see more. I also love the subtle details like the waterfall on the mountainside and the birds flying between the ship and the shoreline. If you look closely, you can see figures on the ship, clasping each other with their arms outstretched toward the light.

The title of this piece is The Shores of Valinor. It is inspired by The Silmarillion (so I suppose it's literary as well as artistic...of course it would still have to do with books...) Valinor is, in some ways, the paradise of Middle-earth. What the painting signifies to me is the heavenly fulfillment of our desires for greatness & beauty. Heaven will be everything our hearts have ever longed for because it will be complete unity with God. When I was little, I remember not wanting to go to heaven because I didn't want to leave all the delights of earth. But what I didn't realize was that heaven is all the delights of earth multiplied by infinity.

The couple on the ship have made a journey - a long, difficult journey - and have depended on each other to complete it. They have two arms reached out in rapture and two arms grasping each other. To me it's a picture of true friendship. The aim of true friends is to help each other reach Heaven - union with God. And that's what a marriage of two souls should always be.

Those are just some of the things that have been going through my head as I've logged onto my computer every day. ;) It's good to have a constant reminder to set my thoughts on worlds far off / where we only cry from joy.

Set your sails upon the mighty winds of May
Set your sails upon the hope of June
Set your sails upon the air of warm July
Set your course for Heaven's shore!
- Future of Forestry

[Music is another thing that inspires me a great deal; I should write about it more often!]

Our Vocation is Today

2010-03-24T19:08:00.000-07:00

People seem to focus so much on the future. Our vision is naturally horizontal -- looking at the things in front of us (or behind). Some of us fruitlessly dwell on the past, and others (like myself) have the tendency to dwell in our imaginings of the future. What I wish I could do is shift my eyes to a vertical perspective, one that moves along the x-axis of time, but is always fixed on the y-intercept of the present.

What I mean is, if we could look upward, focused on God and not on our own fates, our fates won't get messed up by our tainted, twisted selves. We don't live for the future; we live for the infinite God. Our lives shouldn't be directed toward our own pursuits; they should always be in pursuit of Him. I've come to realize that it doesn't matter much what happens to me as long as I am in union with God when it happens.

I came across this passage when I was re-reading The Screwtape Letters for my previous post, and I think it explains the "present" concept brilliantly:

The humans live in time, but [God] destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself and to that point of time which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which [God] has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered them.

Recently, I've been faced with many "coming of age" decisions, and to be honest, I've struggled a lot with entrusting them to God. But He has given me a great confidence because, even when I feel I don't know what to do with my life, I know that my life should belong to Him no matter what I do. I try to embrace that knowledge because it gives me purpose in the present.

So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?' All these things the pagans seek. Your Heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek ye first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you besides.

On a bigger scale, for the last 5 years I have wondered and prayed about my "vocation," whether I should serve God within a family, or consecrate my whole self as my patron St. Cecilia did. I have a deep attraction to both lives, and I have come to realize it is because they both have the same call - to live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up as a sacrifice for us. All lives have this same call, and when we answer it, we are fulfilled in the deepest part of our souls.
Our vocation is LOVE, and we are called to it NOW.

Significant Books, Part VII

2010-03-03T14:24:00.000-08:00

The rude, uncomfortable human self-portrait presented in The Screwtape Letters puts me to shame every time I read it. But it's the sort of healthy shame that I need provoked with - the fact that the Creator put in us dignity, purpose and love, and our sin and selfishness are perversions of that.

Lewis shows how "devils" love perversion, confusion, and vacant minds. Haziness and tepidity delight them. They love it when we make God little in our minds, defining our spiritual lives by emotions or social perceptions. But despite their diabolical power, they are entirely crippled by virtue, and especially sincere humility - what Lewis called the "real nakedness of the soul in prayer."

...if he ever consciously directs his prayers "Not to what I think thou art, but to what thou knowest thyself to be," our situation is, for the moment, desperate. Once all his thoughts and images have been flung aside or, if retained, retained with full recognition of their subjective nature, and the man trusts himself to the completely real, external, invisible Presence, there with him in the room and never knowable by him as he is known by it -- why, then it is that the incalculable may occur.

We so often forget that we are serving a fathomless, infinite, incomprehensible Being. If only we would worship Him with awe! The more we fear the Lord, the more we're aware of the stupidity of our sins, but the amazing thing is that the more we stand in awe of our Creator, the more we understand who we are, because we're made in His beautiful image.

Remember, always, that He really likes the little vermin, and sets an absurd amount of value on the distinctness of every one of them. When He talks of their losing their selves, He means only abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boasts (I am afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever.

There are so many things addressed in this little book, but one that strikes me especially hard, especially during the season of Lent, is the importance of submitting the will to God. No matter how much I think or talk about loving Him, it's all for nothing if I don't actually obey Him.

The great thing is to prevent his doing anything. As long as he does not convert it into action, it does not matter how much he thinks about this new repentance. Let the little brute wallow in it. Let him, if he has any bent that way, write a book about it; that is often an excellent way of sterilising the seeds which an enemy plants in a human soul. Let him do anything but act. No amount of piety in his imagination will harm us if we can keep it out of his will.

The Screwtape Letters makes the list of my significant books because it opened my eyes to the constant raging of spiritual warfare and heightened my perception of God, not as a someone we define, but as someone who defines us.

Man Does Not Live by Bread Alone

2010-02-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

In the weeks before Ash Wednesday, there were many moments when I got drawn into some kind of indulgence (food, internet, music, &c), and had the burning thought, "I need Lent!" It surprised me how much my soul longed for fasting.

There's a yearning again A thirst for discipline A hunger for things that are deeper (Cry in My Heart - Starfield)

When I depend too much on material things, my orientation turns back into myself, my image, my desires. The selfish soul is a miserable soul. Fasting is so powerful because it purges out the selfishness and turns the soul's orientation outside of itself--up toward God, and around toward men. I love that fasting is such a physical discipline. As corporeal humans, we need that. We can't forget that Christ is human as well, and He has physically sacrificed Himself for us in every way. Can't we be a little hungry for Him? Can't we endure a little silence for Him? A passage from St. Augustine's Confessions helped me think of it this way: if we can't have the physical discipline to get out of our comfortable beds in the morning, how can we have the spiritual discipline to get out of our comfortable sins? Getting up early is a denial of self-pleasure, but once you do it you really begin to live. Getting out of our sins is a denial of our flesh, but we can't truly begin to live until we wake up. Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God. The discipline of Lent helps us to lose our dependence on material things and become more dependent on the Word of God. This scripture has always meant a lot to me, but as a Catholic it totally blows me away, and here's why: Christ is the Word spoken by the Father, and He is the Bread that gives us eternal life. He is our literal nourishment. During Lent, my goal is to lose some of my attachments to worldly comforts and start really living on Christ.

What We're Created For

2010-02-14T11:33:00.000-08:00

Our bodies are designed to eat. Our mouths, teeth, salivary glands, tongue, esophagus, stomach...they all serve the purpose of nourishing us. When we don't eat, our bodies clearly communicate to us that something's wrong. They ache from pain and they yearn for food.

People everywhere are aching and yearning in pain from a different kind of malnourishment. They aren't doing what they are designed for, and they die.

Man has always asked what his purpose is. The question has existed for as long as man has existed. Why are we here?! What are we for, if anything? It's clear that we're designed for something larger than this life. Why else would we ache and yearn so much? We have so much desire inside of us that is almost always unsatisfied. Why? What do we desire?

We find comfort in relationships, in feeling wanted, and in feeling needed. We desire companionship, and most of all we NEED love. We find purpose and joy when we have love. It's the selfish, the lonely, and the closed souls who are miserable. To love is to have a healthy soul. To go without love is against our design, just like going without food goes against our design; it will make us sick and eventually kill us.

It's kind of like a love-shaped hole, but I wouldn't even call it a hole. I'd call it an existence. We're nothing without it.

We are nothing without the Creator. The Creator designed us in His image. Did you ever wonder what that means? It probably doesn't mean that he made us look physically like Him. I think that when He designed us, He designed us to love. That's His mark on us, because HE IS LOVE. And He didn't just put it in our souls, He did put it on our bodies as well. Sex is supposed to be a physical manifestation of love. That's why, when it's misused, it causes us so much pain.

If there is a heaven, then it must be made of love.

Significant Books, Part VI

2010-02-05T18:02:00.000-08:00

[Again, this series of Significant Books isn't necessarily my favorite books, but rather, books that have influenced me in my life or shaped my philosophy in some significant way.]

Nearly 6 years ago, I was sitting in my Baptist Sunday School class as the teacher was handing out blank cards to everyone. "We want to make this class interesting and relevant to you," he said, "so write down anything you might want to learn more about, and we'll try to answer your questions in the coming classes." I wrote down the weightiest question on mind--"What is the difference between Catholics & Protestants, and why are Protestants right?"

At that point, Catholicism was a large question mark in my mind--grown larger from my parents obvious interest in it. I knew it was controversial, but I had never heard a clear explanation as to what it was or why it was supposedly teaching a "different gospel."

I was probably more attentive during our next Sunday School class than I had ever been before. Afterward, I was unconvinced. I knew the arguments didn't hold water, and I was dying to know how to answer them. Catholicism and Fundamentalism by Karl Keating was the first book Dad gave me to help answer my many questions. I ate this thing like candy. It solidified all that I knew was right, but couldn't explain till that point. It pointed out the Scriptures and gave a true representation of what the Church taught. For the first year of our conversion, as I searched the Scriptures with new openness, I used this book as a tool to understand what the Church taught about it and why.

This book really didn't change a thing about what I believed. I knew that I was a Christian and I wanted to follow God. But the Church gave me a fuller and deeper understanding of Christianity and the tools to follow God in even more radical ways. It made my Christian faith more of a reality.

The first half of this book exposes the holes in prominent anti-Catholic literature. The second half answers the common accusations against the Church. As I said, it was the first book of its kind I had ever read. It opened the door to MANY other books, and "Catholic apologetics" became one of my biggest passions. Catholicism and Fundamentalism will always be significant to me because it was a gateway for such a huge change in my life.

I am still very passionate about defending and building up the Church; in fact, it is one of the main reasons why I've gotten involved in blogging. After 5 years of being Catholic, I've received so many spiritual (and intellectual) gifts of God through the Church, and few things give me more joy than sharing that with others.

But really, the biggest thing that this book spurred on was not a desire to teach or explain Catholicism to others (though that goes along with it). The most amazing thing I've learned is that I can never stop learning! God is infinite, so we can go on learning about Him and growing closer to Him forever. I want to keep a hunger for the truth and an eagerness to share it.

Against Ingratitude

2010-01-15T16:53:00.000-08:00

I've decided that I'm fed up with the attitude of students toward school. There just seems to be constant complaining, as if education were this horrible thing that nobody should have to undergo. Yes, I know that school can be a drag. As a high school senior, I've had my share of late-night cramming, piles of tough homework, & substandard teachers. And yes, I also know that our education system isn't the best. But learning is good, and whether it's always pleasant or not is beside the point. We should appreciate what we have and take advantage of it as much as we can.

If only we could change our perspective! I admit that I've been pulled into the trap of cynicism over the past 4 years. It's hard to sing a different tune from everyone else. But really, school can be enjoyable and rewarding when you're in the right mindset.

Education is a privilege. Learning is a valuable formative process. Knowledge is one of the most powerful tools we can use in our lives. Study gives us a wider understanding of the created world, and of God Himself. <--that's the kind of mindset we should be trying to stay in.

Lately, I've been liking school more. Trying to communicate in a different language is challenging, but rewarding. Finding frequencies, wavelengths, & energy of rays takes work, but it's gratifying. Sitting through a class on Western Civilization might not be my first choice of things to do at 9 AM, but it's interesting stuff that's worth knowing.

I'm in an elite group of people--I get the chance to have an education that billions of other kids have never had--and I need to be more grateful for that.

My Year in Books

2009-12-30T09:29:00.000-08:00

I love exploring the vast world of classic literature. There's always another book to read (and sometimes it seems like I spend more time making lists of books than actually reading). Here's a list of a few of the books I read in 2009:

The House of the Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Hawthorne doesn't impress me as much with his actual stories as he does in pulling such feeling and poetry out of inanimate objects. It's almost as if the house is a main character--full of history, symbolism, & meaning. His books have a very unique aura that some people find too melancholy, but I enjoy it.

Middlemarch by George Eliot

This was such a pleasant English novel. I felt like I was just observing the lives and interactions in small community without necessarily reading a story, though there were plenty of twists and turns to keep it interesting. I appreciated that it was very driven by characters and dialogue. Eliot is always delightful in a good and simple way.

The Robe by Lloyd Douglas

This was a story about a young Roman tribune who lived during the time of Christ, was present at his crucifixion, and happened to cast lots for his robe. The robe was strange and fascinating to him, and caused him to seek out the truth about who Christ was. I loved the perspective of this story; it gave a fresh outlook on the life of Christ and his early disciples, both Jew and gentile.

Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

This was very characteristic of its time in literature--many difficult life questions and a lot of drinking. There are many profound morals to be found in the protagonist's hard reminiscings about the Flyte family (ironically, flyte means "strife"). It shows what happens when religion becomes a mindless tradition. You fail to embrace it, but you can't ignore it, and you deteriorate from the inside. It's not the kind of genre that I typically read, but it's a fascinating rendering of apathy & sin.

The Time Machine by H.G. Wells

It's worth reading simply because it's the archetypal science fiction story. It has all the important characteristics of the genre. There are some insightful points on societal development, though philosophically the existence of God & thus the God-given nature of man is out of the picture. Still, it's an interesting read & significant literary piece. Besides, who can resist the enticement of time travel?

The Lord of the Flies by William Golding

There's no question that it's a gruesome story. Power, strife, greed, & the tendencies of man in society are nasty topics, and they're described crudely in this book with the title that means "Beelzebub." It's an exaggerated allegory that's rudely provoking (and probably a huge turnoff to literature for high school kids who are forced to read it in school...)

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

This is another rather crude book. (It seems like there was a lot of that this year, mostly because I've been focusing on reading well-known classics & books commonly used in the classrooms.) I appreciated this story, not really for its literary themes, but for its historical exposé, which I thought was brilliantly poignant. The last chapter was heart-rending. Simply put, it was an eye-opening masterpiece of misery.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Like Brideshead Revisited, this story was full of tormented minds and too much wine. It shows the shallow emptiness beneath the glittery American dream of the Roaring Twenties. Yes, the story was affecting, but unlike Brideshead, there was no hint of a redeeming entity.

Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

Here's another classic novel that I appreciate more for its insights into an historical era than for its literary themes. It's the story of a proud, self-absorbed Southern belle named Scarlett O'Hara. (I think it's the only story I've read with such a villainous protagonist!) I appreciated the reliable constancy of the characters. Each were predictable (or predictably unpredictable), and they all added to the story in their own way.

The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy

What a clever, charming little book! It was very engaging and entertaining; plus, the French Revolution was a fascinating time in history. I think I'd be a great book to read out loud my children someday.

The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky

I can really only handle one massive Russian novel a year. They are so heavy--literally & figuratively, but they're entirely worth the effort. This book was my favorite of the year. The psychology of the characters, their detailed thoughts & interactions, and the resolutions of their fates were so interesting. There were some beautiful and profound passages, and some scenes that were perfectly cutting. The ending was so lucid and very stirring for me. It's one of those books that I hope to read again someday, and I know I'll get even more from it.

I'm glad I got a chance to write down my thoughts about some of this year's books, because to be honest, I have a pretty poor memory, so hopefully my notes will be able to refresh me on them in the future. I hope 2010 will have even more great books in store! I've been accumulating a lot of good non-fiction as well, and I'm looking forward to reading and learning lots more!

Happy New Year!

The Baby and the Bridegroom

2009-12-23T13:20:00.000-08:00

Advent is a very reflective time for me. It's a time for expectation and preparation. I love that it's so richly reminiscent of ancient things, and so convicting and hopeful for the things yet to come. It shows the full and colorful canvas of Christianity.

It seems like so few people see that picture, though. I just wish they would remember how Christmas is Christ's Mass--the fulfillment of all God's promises and the ultimate feast.

The story of the "Christ Mass" began in Eden, when the need for a savior was created. God established his chosen people and sent a baby who would rescue them from slavery in Egypt. God revealed His truth to these people, and from them came prophecies--such beautiful, hopeful, longing prophecies! The people hoped and prayed for centuries; they sang psalms and they celebrated feasts that reminded them of God's salvation from slavery. They were unfaithful, yes, but they still had God's truth and they still had His promise.

Then God chose a woman, and unlike Eve, this woman obeyed Him. Out of her obedience came, not death, but LIFE for all mankind.

But you, Bethlehem-Ephrathah too small to be among the clans of Judah, From you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler in Israel; Whose origin is from of old, from ancient times. (Therefore the Lord will give them up, until the time when she who is to give birth has borne, And the rest of his brethren shall return to the children of Israel.) He shall stand firm and shepherd his flock by the strength of the LORD... Micah 5:1-3

He came and fulfilled all those strange and beautiful prophecies. He was born to a small woman in a small cave in a small town called "House of Bread," visited by small shepherds to become a shepherd himself--a humble King. It's the wildest, most creative story I've ever read!

I'm bursting with anticipation for the Christ Mass! At midnight on December 25, I'll hear the ancient prophecies, sing the ancient psalms, and say the very words uttered by the ancient people of God. Then I'll partake in the feast of our salvation from slavery; I'll eat the bread that was placed in the food trough two thousand years ago--the redeeming flesh that was sacrificed on the tree.

We remember the advent of the child, and we prepare and purify our hearts for the advent of the bridegroom, when we'll celebrate the Mass of Christ--the great wedding feast--into eternity.

The Spirit of the Liturgy (Significant Books, Part V)

2009-11-29T10:35:00.000-08:00

It being the first Sunday of Advent and the beginning of the new liturgical year, I thought it'd be fitting to write about The Spirit of the Liturgy by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (now Pope Benedict XVI). I read this exactly 2 years ago, so a lot of the details have left me. I hope I'll re-read it at some point, but the important thing is that the big picture has always stayed with me and inspired my thoughts at every Mass and every late stargazing night.

Liturgy, in practical terms, comes from the Greek leitourgia meaning "to perform public duty." Basically, it's the outward manifestation of faith. It's expressed by the Church most radically through the Mass, the celebration focused entirely on Christ's Eucharistic sacrifice. All liturgy points to Christ:

"...Christian worship is the practical application and fulfillment of the words that Jesus proclaimed on the first day of Holy Week, Palm Sunday, in the Temple in Jerusalem: 'I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself' (Jn 12:32)." - Chapter II

The liturgy is the celebration of Christ's sacrifice and our salvation - the cross and resurrection makes our communion with God possible. The liturgy is about God and man touching each other. It's our taste of heaven (literally). It's a mystery and it's a romance.

"The Christian theology of worship--beginning with St. John the Baptist--sees in Christ the Lamb given by God. The Apocalypse presents this sacrificed Lamb, who lives as sacrificed, as the center of the heavenly liturgy, a liturgy that, through Christ's Sacrifice, is now present in the midst of the world and makes replacement liturgies superfluous (see Rev 5)."

Our life on earth is just a preliminary to eternity. Our true home is in heaven. I love this word picture at the beginning of the book:

"Children's play seems in many ways a kind of anticipation of life, a rehearsal for later life, without its burdens and gravity. On this analogy, the liturgy would be a reminder that we are all children, or should be children, in relation to that true life toward which we yearn to go. Liturgy would be a kind of anticipation, a rehearsal, a prelude for the life to come, for eternal life...Seen thus, liturgy would be the rediscovery within us of true childhood, of openness to a greatness still to come, which is still unfulfilled in adult life."

This book was so profound for me because it showed how God uses the physical world to communicate with us. In bowing, kneeling, extending our hands in prayer...we are literally revering God with our bodies. We are tangible people, so God communicates with us in tangible ways, through art and music, through spoken and written words, through time changes & seasons, through nature, through bread. He wants to unite Himself with us, and every part of the liturgy is an expression of that. It's LITERAL - it's so very, very real. But the best part about it is that heaven will be even more real, and its beauty will never be exhausted.

A Heritage of Prayer

2009-10-31T19:53:00.001-07:00

Lately, I've been so thankful for the example that my mom sets in prayer. Her prayers are such a huge part of what makes our family what it is. Nearly every morning I see her sitting down with her Bible & prayer book, often simultaneously trying to keep track of the baby or help get breakfast for the little boys. I know it's not easy for her, but she makes the commitment to do it, despite the distractions. When I think about all of the responsibilities in my life, I wonder how I can justify omitting morning prayers so often when Mom does it with far more tasks at hand.

My paternal grandmother is a prayer warrior, too. I remember several times staying at their house & waking up very early (before six), not being able to go back to sleep. I would creep down to the steps and look through the rails to see Grandma sitting on the couch with her Bible and her prayer book. I know that she regularly prays for each one of her 19 grandchildren individually. She sends out waves of grace to us, though we probably won't fully know how much they've affected us until we're in Paradise.

I never met my great-grandmother, Edna Case, but her presence still influences my life. I'm sure it was partly from her that my Grandma got her early-rising prayer habits. She seemed like such a disciplined, intelligent, devout Christian woman. I've only seen her face in pictures, but I have seen her legacy in my grandmother and great uncle & aunt. All 11 of her grandchildren are still walking with the Lord and raising the 43 great-grandchildren in His ways.

Right now I want to be developing the discipline of rising early and devoting time to God in prayer. I have to admit that I've done pretty poorly in the last year, but it's a habit I know is worth working for. I ALWAYS benefit from getting my mind and heart straight first thing in the morning. It helps me stay prayerful, focused, and more industrious throughout the whole day. Sharing communion with God puts a sweet taste on my heart that lasts for hours.

Holy, holy, holy
Lord God Almighty
Early in the morning
Our song shall rise to thee.

I want to give that heritage to my sons and daughters someday (if that is God's will for me). I want them to have great relationships with each other like I have with my own siblings. I want them to be good friends with their cousins, to appreciate the godly family legacy that they have and be nourished in their own prayer life by the holy examples of their parents, grandparents, & great-grandparents.

The Advantages of Skirts

2009-10-23T13:29:00.000-07:00

They are feminine.

What better way is there to say, "I like being a lady"?

They are unique to females.

There are only two types of men in our society who can wear robes - judges & priests. Pretty significant, don't you think? Women can wear them every day; why not take advantage of it?

They are pretty.

Most feminine things are :)

They have variety.

Wearing jeans every day is so boring. Skirts & dresses come in every shape and color.

They are comfortable.

They have such a lovely, free, open feeling! Plus, many of them are much softer than pants. [Miniskirts & those with the slits up to the thighs aren't so comfy.]

They are easy to shop for.

Pants have to fit in 100 places whereas skirts really only have to fit in the waist. Plus, they're generally cheaper if you shop in the right places.

They are flattering.

People don't have to see those 100 places. A dress will just flow right over them.

They are old-fashioned.

The vast majority of women over the vast majority of history always wore dresses and I like feeling a connection to the women who came before me when I dress like them.

They are classy.

I always feel so much nicer & more ladylike when I'm in a skirt. I'm also generally more productive when I take the time to dress nicely in the morning. Staying in my jogging clothes or sweatpants makes me feel lazy.

They are fun to spin in.

It's true :D

They are romantic.

Okay, I have a way to kill the balcony scene in Romeo & Juliet. Put Juliet in breeches.

They add mystique.

An alluring aura of mystery hangs about a girl who doesn't bare all.

They catch the wind.

They catch the eye.

A miniskirt or painted on jeans might catch the eye in one way, but a lady dressed with dignity catches it in quite another.

You can wear awesome leggings with them.

Okay, maybe that's just a personal quirk, but it is a fun trend to wear (especially now in the fall & winter)!

They are elegant

They have this cool flowy thing going on.

But perhaps the greatest reason why I love dressing this way is because of the beautiful, holy lady that I have in my mind as a model for Christ-filled women (literally):

Significant Books, Part IV (The Everlasting Man)

2009-10-13T19:23:00.000-07:00

"On the Man Called Christ."

The paradoxical, yet universal nature of Christ is both mystifying and so fulfilling.

"It revolutionised their very vision of revolution; and turned their very topsy-turvydom topsy-turvy."

Why is Christ is any different from other men? Why Christianity is different from any other "religions?" The reason is that myth and truth are united in that person of Christ.

"...in reality the rivers of mythology and philosophy run parallel and do not mingle till they meet in the sea of Christendom...there has never before been any such union of the priests and the philosophers."

Men wrote myths because they longed for the story in which God touches man. Never did they dream that God would actually become man, and make Himself so man could touch Him.

"It met the mythological search for romance by being a story and the philosophical search for truth by being a true story."

The polytheism of the Greeks & Romans was a search to fulfill the imaginative side of man, but it could do little for the realistic side. The principles & proverbs of the ancient Orientals sought to fulfill the philosophical man, but couldn't satisfy his wild imaginings.

"The philosophy of the church is universal...Had Plato and Pythagoras and Aristotle stood for an instant in the light that came out of that little cave [the stable], they would have known that their own light was not universal. It is far from certain, indeed, that they did not know it already. Philosophy also, like mythology, had very much the air of a search...For it is the paradox of that group in the cave, that while our emotions about it are of childish simplicity, our thoughts about it can branch with a never-ending complexity. And we can never reach the end even of our own ideas about the child who was a father and the mother who was a child."

Significant Books, Part III (The Everlasting Man)

2009-09-24T18:41:00.000-07:00

As I was going through my list of "significant books," I decided to post about The Everlasting Man by G.K. Chesterton next. Ha! That was a month ago. In preparation for the intended entry, I decided to browse through the book again to refresh my memory. That turned into a full-blown re-reading along with copying passages & taking notes. Whoops.

The book has a pretty wide spectrum of topics, but it all comes back to a central point. Anthropology, history, art, religion, mythology, tradition - it all points to Christ. And no person seems to be able to convey this with as much common sense, humor & wit than Chesterton.

Humans seem to have some trace of supernatural in them. At the very least, the supernatural has always had a mesmeric hold over us. We seem always to point to the sky. Humans are strange, unprecedented creatures. As Chesterton puts it:

"There may be a broken trail of stones and bones faintly suggesting the development of the human body. There is nothing even faintly suggesting the human mind." -Chapter I (The Man in the Cave)

Somehow, we're so like animals, yet so unlike them. How did we come to be so different? Was it millions of years of evolution? Chesterton drily suggests that no matter how long a cow grazes on the hillside, it will never build its own cow-shed; no matter how long a sheep is in a pasture, it will never develop ancestor-worshiping practices. The phenomenon is not justified or explained any more by a million years than it is by a day. The fact still remains that it is an incomprehensible phenomenon. And where did our unnatural tendencies come if not from an unnatural (or supernatural) being?

"The simplest truth about man is that he is a very strange being; almost in the sense of being a stranger on the earth. In all sobriety, he has much more of the external appearance of one bringing alien habits from another land than of a mere growth of this one. He has an unfair advantage and an unfair disadvantage. He cannot sleep in his own skin; he cannot trust his own instincts. He is at once a creator moving miraculous hands and fingers and a kind of cripple. He is wrapped in artificial bandages called clothes; he is propped up on artificial crutches called furniture. His mind has the same doubtful liberties and the same wild limitations. Alone among the animals, he is shaken with the beautiful madness called laughter...It is not natural to see man as a natural product."

Oh, I shouldn't start quoting or I won't be able to stop! I might as well just tell you to drop what you're doing and read The Everlasting Man right this moment. Seriously, just read the first chapter - The Man in the Cave. It contains enough profound wisdom to fill 50 books. I would be content to simply read it over and over again. Even the short paragraph of the metaphor of man and mirror overstimulates my brain with amazement.

And yet that's only the beginning of the first half of the book - "On the Creature Called Man." The second half is "On the Man Called Christ."

It looks like this is going to be more than one entry...

...I can't resist just one more quote!

"Behind all these things is the fact that beauty and terror are very real things and related to a real spiritual world; and to touch them at all, even in doubt or fancy, is to stir the deep things of the soul."

Say Your Prayers

2009-08-30T11:07:00.000-07:00

Here's a song that's been on my mind lately. I bought it on iTunes a while ago because I liked the band & the song sounded catchy, but recently I started listening to the lyrics and they have a challenging message.

Look at you now, just standing there like you think you’re something. The lights are up and the crowd is looking your way.
Waiting for what you have to say.
Go ahead boy give them a little taste of hypocrisy, maybe a hint of blasphemy.
Whatever you’re preaching it isn’t me.

You wanna walk with me, do ya?
You wanna walk with me.
If you love me then just love me, don’t you give me pretty words.
Lay your life down at the altar.
Let me see how serious you are.

These people don’t look to me no more they’ve got their idols in various forms.
With lust in their eyes they crave for more.
Take their place with the corporate carnivores.
Oh, keep your focus for the day will come when everyone will give account for what they’ve done; make me proud.
Make me proud my son.

Look at this broken world; look at my children.
Get ready go; sing to me the right song.
Look up say your prayers on the steps of the capitol.
Look up say your prayers, on your knees.
Look up say your prayers.
Look up say your prayers.
You wanted it to be like you always thought it would but all you seem to accomplish is the
opposite.

A lot of times in my walk with God, I find myself praying in the mornings & evenings, but living for my own selfish pleasures during the rest of the day. I guess sometimes I feel like my "pretty words" will satisfy God's call for my life, but they won't.

My life is supposed to be a prayer & an offering to God. Repeating "Lord, Lord" isn't going to cut it (Matt 7:22-23). I need to lay myself down on the altar for Him, just like Christ did (Eph 5:2).

Real love isn't selfish. Real love is willing to make sacrifices. If someone is apathetic in a relationship, they hurt the other person like crazy. Well, God's a person and He loves us more than any other person we could ever know. There's no way to imagine how much we hurt Him when we're lukewarm.

Say your prayers. Pray for all your fellow Christians who've fallen into tepidity and those who still haven't found Christ. But don't just pray with words, pray with everything you do.

Significant Books, Part II

2009-08-24T18:09:00.000-07:00

After the Scriptures, the book that's had the most influence on my spiritual life has been Divine Mercy in My Soul: The Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska. It was one of those long-term readers that took me half a year to get through, but it was almost a daily devotional companion last year.

The writings of the saints & mystics really are phenomenal. Until I started dipping my toes into them a couple years go, I couldn't have imagined the intensity of a passionate relationship with God. Faustina was in a constant state of union with Christ; it seems like she was always aware of His presence, always talking with Him, thinking of Him, working for Him, loving Him. She was conscious of His holiness and so she was always contrite & willing to do anything for Him.

The prayers in this book are so simple, deep, & beautiful. I was convicted in the deepest parts of my heart because I recognized that that's where all of our souls are created to be - in humility, openness, and love toward God.

Everlasting love, pure flame, burn in my heart ceaselessly and deify my whole being, according to Your infinite pleasure by which You summoned me into existence and called me to take part in Your everlasting happiness. O merciful Lord, it is only out of mercy that You have lavished these gifts upon me. Seeing all these free gifts within me, with deep humility I worship Your incomprehensible goodness. Lord, my heart is filled with amazement that You, absolute Lord, in need of no one, would nevertheless stoop so low out of pure love for us. I can never help being amazed that the Lord would have such an intimate relationship with His creatures. That again is His unfathomable goodness. Every time I begin this meditation, I never finish it, because my spirit becomes entirely drowned in Him. What a delight it is to love with all the force of one's soul and to be loved even more in return, to feel and experience this with the full consciousness of one's being. There are no words to express this. (1523)

St. Faustina had visions of the intense sufferings of Christ because of our rebellion and especially our apathy. Not a page out of the 644 failed to move me to deeper repentance and love for God. Reading this diary, I was amazed at the infinity of spirituality. It's so deep that there's literally no bottom. This book absolutely blew me away! God has used this woman to bring thousands of souls to Him, and I only hope I can become 1/100th of the saint that she is.

Experiences I Never Want to Forget

2009-08-19T13:37:00.000-07:00

I feel as fortunate as a queen to have been able to see some of the most phenomenal landscapes in the States on a western family trip these past 2 weeks!

Walking through the Badlands was almost like walking on the moon.

The formations in Jewel Cave were just as unearthly.

And I'd never dreamed of anything like the Needles of the Black Hills!

There's no way that I could even describe the vast beauty of Yellowstone.

I'd seen pictures, but experiencing it in real life was stunning. Half the time I felt like I was just looking at a postcard.

Now it feels to me like the world has infinite facets that I haven't even begun to see...

...unfathomable things...

We got to make beautiful family memories like stopping for lunch at a lake in the Grand Tetons, skipping rocks, playing in the water, and enjoying the sunshine & unforgettable view.

The long driving hours were just as scenic as the stops. Whenever I looked out the window at the enormous Wyoming & Colorado plains I saw in my mind's eye dusty covered wagons crawling slowly across.

And thanks to modern roads & automobiles, I got to see what so few other people in the world are privileged to see from the top of Pike's Peak.

But the best part of the trip by far was definitely this.

Thanks for the memories :)

Significant Books, Part I

2009-07-30T10:54:00.001-07:00

Literature is an influential part of me. What I'd like to do is go through the list of my "significant books" and write about each. This list doesn't necessarily contain my "favorite" books. It's the books that have significantly shaped the way I think, contributed to my philosophy, or introduced important ideas to me. I thought this would be the best place for me to begin this new blog of mine.

The Holy Bible.

This is the one that I've read, listened to, studied, prayed, pondered, argued over, and loved the most. :) I grew up on it, memorized it as a child, practiced my penmanship with it, got chastised with it, and listened to hundreds of sermons on it. It would be impossible to extract it from my life and me remain the same person.

From a literary point of view, it contains all the things that I love. It's a historical masterpiece. Not only that, but it tells the story of a family. One of my favorite series as a child was something like "American Adventures" that began with two children going on the Mayflower. The next book was about their children, the next about theirs, and so on. I found it so fascinating! The Bible begins with the first man, continues with his children, and goes on to give the story of their descendants (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and the 12 tribes of Israel). It follows the line of the Hebrews till it comes to the crux - Christ, on whom the fates of all humanity depend. It's the story of the whole human family - the ultimate genealogy!

One of the biggest things that I look for in any story is an ending that comes out of the beginning. (This is the main reason why you'll see Les Miserables is on my list...more on that when I get to it). A good story is bookended, crafting a conflict and resolving it. The Scriptures have the ultimate plot conflict: human sin, and the ultimate plot resolution: Christ. The entire Old Testament is a masterful story of the Hebrews and their struggles. The New Testament answers the Old, reconciling men to God, and ends with a ravishing prophecy of that eternal reconciliation.

A good book will also cause the reader to reflect on themselves and on the world, and will challenge the person to change them in some way. What could be more radical than the challenge to become like the crucified Christ?

The symbolism is deep and the foreshadowing ingenious. Any lover of literature must be in awe of the creative mystery conceived by the Scriptures.

I want to end with this profound quote from C.S. Lewis (a man whose books have influenced my philosophy tremendously). He wrote it in a letter to his friend Arthur Greeves in fall of 1931, talking about the Gospel as it stands in relation to other human stories (or rather, mythologies):

"Now the story of Christ is simply a true myth: a myth working on us in the same
way as the others, but with this tremendous difference that it really happened:
and one must be content to accept it in the same way, remembering that it is
God’s myth where the others are men’s myths: i.e. the Pagan stories are God
expressing Himself through the minds of poets, using such images as He found
there, while Christianity is God expressing Himself through what we call “real
things”. Therefore it is true, not in the sense of being a “description” of God
(that no finite mind could take in) but in the sense of being the way in which
God chooses to (or can) appear to our faculties."

I suppose this is why humanity is so attracted to stories, because they mirror this beautiful "true myth" that God wrote. I only wish that more people could appreciate and love it as much as I've learned to love it.

A Reunion

2009-07-26T18:27:00.001-07:00

Ever since we became acquainted 3 years ago, Blogging and I have had a relationship similar to many typical human friendships. Initial fascination, enthusiastic infatuation, occasional friendly familiarity, and finally, the disregard that comes from long absence all took their turns.

Why am I reviving the relationship? Maybe it's because I just because I like the feeling of having a fresh slate. Trouble is, slates don't stay fresh for very long. They often becomes a bore (or even a chore) after a while. But I know that learning to follow through on things is a lesson I need. [Plus, writing is one of the few things that I can do halfway decently, and it would be a pity if I neglected it any longer.]

So, Blogging, here I am again. We have some fond memories together and some strange ones. This reunion is for better or for worse, but I'm holding out for the better. ;)